Archer Coaching

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A Bigger Game

Mar 13

Posted by Laura in Coaching, Creativity, Dreaming, Making an impact, Mindfulness, Powerful questions, Uncategorized, blessing, change, clarity, joy, momentum, performance, planning, resistance | 2 Comments

Recently I completed some fantastic training on Energy Leadership with iPEC in New Jersey. Like most coach training, we learn techniques and concepts and then practice on each other, which opens the door for a lot of new learning, breakthroughs, and transformative thinking! A major takeaway for me from the weekend was this: It’s time for me to play a bigger game.

I have been stagnating in a few areas of my life and not stepping up to the plate with my true potential. I’ve been playing it safe, going with “good enough,” and making a lot excuses for not going bigger. I dug a comfortable little hidey hole in my complacency and fear. I have allowed certain beliefs and thoughts to hold me back.

The experience of new training and new thinking challenged me in these areas. It was really uncomfortable, and I felt a lot of resistance at first–which means that is precisely where I need to grow. Once I realized that I was playing small, it became more and more evident to me based on some feelings (and actions) I have had lately.

Now I’m completely energized and excited about the next phase of my life game.

So I hereby make this promise: I promise to play bigger. For myself, for my clients, for the world.

How will you show up for a bigger game in your life?

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Thinking Bigger: The VA Experience

Feb 19

Posted by Laura in Communications, Creativity, Uncategorized, change, clarity, experience, momentum, planning, professional image, success | No Comments

Loyal blog readers may remember some time ago that I posted about the three D’s of task management: delete, defer, and delegate. Well, I’ve had some serious experience with delegating recently. I hired a virtual assistant (VA) several months ago. The different in my business, my approach to it, and my personal growth has been startling! I want to share my experiences here, partly to sing the praises of VAs and partly to show how a simple change can bring about profound learning.

Virtual assistants can do all kinds of support work for a businessperson. Without getting into too much detail, they can offer administrative support, some Web work, design, event planning, phone calls, documentation, you name it. I found my VA through a local networking group, and we signed a contract by which she provides me 4 hours of her services each month. How I ask her to use the time is up to me. So far, I have had her work on both of my Web sites (which were recently relaunched in Wordpress), design promotional flyers for and assist with some training events, optimize my profile on some business networking sites, make phone calls and perform some research, and create a PowerPoint presentation from some extremely raw text. I plan to have her help me with a newsletter, more slide presentations, and some marketing tasks in the future!

What surprised me in the process of making use of this support is how much it helped me grow! The lessons ran deeper than I could have imagined (and are still revealing themselves to me). Here are some of them.

  • I was pushed (in a good way) to let go of something and trust another person to handle it. I’ve been self-employed for 14 years, and because I’ve always had to handle everything, it’s fair to say I became a bit of a control freak. I’m so used to handling it all–it was a challenge to let something go. When I was able to do so, a lot of new, exciting opportunities for my time and energy opened up!
  • I became more engaged in my best work. Because I now have support around the details and busy-work of my company, I have more of my brain power and heart invested in the actual work–that of coaching. I no longer have to fret over details because I have a trusted person to handle them for me. I can truly focus on serving my clients.
  • I opened the door to more profitability. I was shocked when I realized that my VA could spend 1 hour on something that would take me 4 or more hours (and a lot of frustration) to get done. I can use those 4 hours to do billable work! Also, because she can support me with excellent work, I’ve accelerated my plans on a lot of my business-building ideas, which will bring more clients to me.
  • I began to see more possibilities in my business. As I was challenged to come up with tasks for my VA (she works so fast!), I started to see a lot more opportunities for myself and my business. Currently, she is developing a slide presentation for me from very raw text and images. This will be published on SlideShare and available for free to anyone who is interested. Before I met my VA, I doubt I ever would have considered this. I don’t like slides, and I don’t know how to use PowerPoint well, and it would have perpetually been put on the back burner. Now it’s happening! More creative ideas are coming to me all the time, and I’m energized to attack them.
  • I started thinking like a bigger company. Suddenly, I have “people.” I can take on bigger projects, bigger commitments because I have support in other areas. I feel more professional. I’ve widened my playing field. This has opened up even more opportunities, and I find I’m incredibly excited and engaged with my business all over again!

Obviously, I recommend a good VA if you need or want some support in your business. As you think about the cost of hiring someone, weight it against the immediate benefits of getting things done, and remember to think about the bigger picture advantages!

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Mulligans

Jan 27

Posted by Laura in Appreciation, Mindfulness, Resolution, blessing, change, clarity, failure, joy, love | No Comments

I hereby declare “do-overs” for January 2010. Yep, we are starting over, rebooting the year. Mulligans for all!

All around me, people are having a rough start to the new year. Many were bidding adieu (and good riddance) to a difficult 2009, and then 2010 starts off with a few hard punches to the gut. Around me I see lost jobs, breakdowns, deaths, ended relationships, and diminished resources, not to mention the obvious natural disasters. Mercury is in retrograde, I hear. Perhaps we can blame it on that.

Last night at a local meeting, I had the privilege of hearing the fantastic Mary Cantando speak. One of the points she made that stuck with me was that when something bad happens, try to look for the silver lining, specifically by saying (aloud) “Three good things about this are…” Once you say it out loud, the good things start to flow from your brain. When you can consistently look for the good, it can help you balance the bad and not let it get hold of you.

Three good things about a very hard month?

  1. Difficulties around us bring out the very best in humanity (giving, caring, loving).
  2. We are reminded that every moment of our (normal, mundane) lives is incredibly precious.
  3. We are challenged to grow larger than the problems that try to derail us.

We won’t get do-overs for January, but perhaps we don’t really need them. We can and will rebuild and create something wonderful, among the rubble of the pain, loss, and heartache. This is what defines success: not avoiding being knocked down, but continually getting back up after it (inevitably) happens.

You Say You Want a Resolution

Dec 28

Posted by Laura in Coaching, Goals, Mindfulness, Resolution, Uncategorized, change, holiday, momentum, planning | No Comments

The calendar year is nearly finished, with a new one looming immediately. Your thoughts might be turning to New Year’s resolutions. I’ve heard many people say, “I don’t make resolutions, since I never keep them, so then I don’t feel guilty.” Others make a lot of resolutions and then keep one or two. Some might make resolutions and then promptly forget them. And some people use the opportunity of New Year’s resolutions to make a real change in their lives.

I am a fan of resolutions! I feel that if they are made properly, with the right mindset and with an action plan, they can help a person grow. So here, without further ado, is my completely unofficial handy-dandy guide to make a resolution that you can (more likely) stick with.

1. Ditch any thoughts that begin with “I should,” “I ought to,” or “I really need to…” If you’re nagging yourself before even making the resolution, your chances of keeping it are pretty low.

2. Ask yourself: “What do I want more of in my life?” and “Where can I grow?” Asking yourself a positive question like this will lead to you being more likely to stick to a goal. Instead of just “denying” yourself something (quit smoking, stop biting your nails), commit to something positive! For instance, if you want more joy in your daily life, you might resolve to do something you really enjoy once a week, like playing golf or watching a movie in a theater. If you do want to do something like lose weight, you can put it in a positive framework, perhaps by saying, “I resolve to improve my health and wear a size 8 by end of next year.”

3. Make your resolution SMART: specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and time-limited. If it doesn’t meet these criteria, then it’s not likely you will achieve your goal. Remember, your resolutions (like all your goals) should be something within your control! Resolving to win the lottery is useless, as that is not in your control. Resolving to buy a lottery ticket every week certainly is in your control.

4. Ask yourself the critical follow-up question: “How will I achieve this?” This is the lynchpin that can keep your goal linked to reality. A pie-in-the-sky goal like “I resolve to make a million dollars this year” doesn’t do anything for you if you don’t have a plan for achieving it. Follow up a good resolution with a plan for action! For instance, if you resolve to shave 10 points off your golf game, you might create an action plan that involves some lessons with a pro, more time at the driving range, and watching some videos to help you improve your putting.

5. Put it on paper. Write down your resolution; put action benchmarks in your planner, so you can check in throughout the year. When you write something down, it becomes more real to you. Writing something is a deliberate act, and little more mindful than just saying something out loud. You can also make a “dream board” with pictures of your achieved goals, to help motivate you.

6. Get some accountability! Got a buddy with the same resolution? Check in with each other! This works particularly well if you want to learn a new skill (take a class together, practice together) or do something like lose weight (gym buddies) or stop smoking (support group).

Always remember, you don’t have to wait until January 1 to get started on a new resolution. There are new years starting every day! Some notable new years include Chinese New Year (lunar new year), which is on February 14, 2010; several cultures celebrate new year on the vernal equinox. There is also Rosh Hashanah (Jewish new year), Samhain (Celtic new year), and of course, your own birthday.

Anyone want to share their resolutions in the comments? I’m always intrigued! In the interest of full disclosure, I’ll share three of mine.

1. I resolve to work hard on my business so that my average monthly income doubles.

2. I resolve to work on and complete at least one monk’s cloth embroidery project.

3. I resolve to cook a real meal every other week (husband agreed to do the same!).

Winter Solstice

Dec 21

Posted by Laura in Appreciation, Creativity, Path, Resolution, blessing, change, clarity, experience, holiday | 1 Comment

Today is the Winter Solstice. We experienced the least amount of daylight for the whole year today. The Northern Hemisphere is at its farthest point from the sun. From here on out, the daylight lingers, taking up more of the day, all the way up to the Vernal Equinox, when sunlight and night are equal, to the Summer Solstice, where it begins to fade again. It’s the also the first day of winter, when things appear dead or at least hibernating, storing energy to burst forth in spring. Notable days like these make me think of cycles, seasons, and changes.

As the leaves fell and the rain came down this autumn, I was thinking of ways to shed unnecessary things in my life. Like the church season of Advent, I am preparing for the arrival of some changes. I make room in my life, trusting that the universe will fill it with what I am manifesting. As I let go of things that had a hold on me, I find a new lightness, a new energy, a new creativity. My email box is clean, my office is tidied up, a fresh new desk calendar awaits a year full of joyful events. I’m purging things from my home, reexamining my commitments, seeking experiences rather than objects.

Seasons change, solstices and equinoxes come and go, tides rise and ebb. The cycles of our lives are marked in more ways than sunlight or water. A new calendar year is coming. How are we changing? What are we becoming? What are we creating room for?

Resistance and Being Right

Dec 9

Posted by Laura in Coaching, change, openness, reality TV, resistance, right | No Comments

I’ve been thinking for a while of having an occasional series here on my blog, loosely titled “Things I Have Learned Watching Reality TV.” I do watch reality TV, and I like the good stuff–a lot of business shows (early Apprentice, some Dragon’s Den, etc.), cooking shows (Hell’s Kitchen, Top Chef, Chef Academy), and creative competitions (Project Runway, Launch My Line, even America’s Next Top Model). (Okay, I’ll admit to the rapturous schadenfreude of watching America’s Funniest Home Injuries Videos, from which I’ve learned quite a litany of useful things: avoid trampolines, never dance on tables, porch swings are trouble, stay away from pinatas, and so on.)

One of my most recent favorite shows is on Bravo, and it’s called Tabatha’s Salon Takeover. It’s a bit like Kitchen Nightmares, except for hair salons. The extremely talented stylist and businesswoman Tabatha Coffey (always sleek in black, ice blonde hair, clipped Australian accent) comes in and takes over for a week. There are staff meetings, discussions, assessments of skills, renovations, and usually some tears and resistance. Most of the time, her changes make a real difference in the salon, as evidenced when she returns about six weeks after to see how things are going.

Last night’s episode involved a salon owner in Florida, who absolutely hated her staff (spied on them, harassed them, and so on). She expected them to fail, and only had negative things to say consistently. She brought in Tabatha just to have someone take her side. When Tabatha didn’t buy it, the owner flat-out refused to change. In fact, she reversed much of the renovation and all the other changes that Tabatha made. Her staff were miserable. The owner herself was miserable–yet somehow delighted that she hadn’t changed at all. She was convinced she was “right” and wouldn’t hear of anything to the contrary.

I felt so sad for this woman. She has become toxic in her own business, toxic to her employees, and toxic to herself. She had a rigid view of her situation and was not interested in any other viewpoints. She wanted easy answers and someone to confirm her paranoia. People like her may say they “want” a coach or a consultant, but they really don’t. They want to be right, and they want that validated.

Not long ago, I was challenged by another coach to let go of being “right” in a situation that had really irked me. I knew I was right, and I kept protesting that fact. It was painful to be challenged on it–and absolutely what I needed to hear. I struggled with it. I asked myself: “If I let go of being right, what more can I become? Can I become larger than this issue?” It was an eye-opening process. It helped me let go of being right (with difficulty), so that I became more. What resulted was a whole new path out of the situation that ultimately ended up serving everyone involved.

Where can we let go of being right? What might that lead to in our lives?