Archive for category clarity

The Freedom of Not Knowing

I rarely take my cues from sit-coms (even the “very special episodes”), but many years ago, something said on Friends really stuck with me. The character Rachel was explaining that after many years of living up to others’ expectations and having her life planned out, she had broken free from that, and now she liked not knowing what was going to happen.

I am a well-organized person who uses a planner, to-do lists, and goals. I’m prompt and focused. I’m used to knowing. In school, knowing the answer was a place of power for me (and I almost always knew the answer).

Becoming a coach has really challenged my sense of security about knowing. The whole point of being a coach is that I don’t have to know–the client does. Being a good coach means floating in the moment, trusting your intuition, and being present for the client in a way that brings forth his or her genius. There is no script for this, no set way to do it. Which means: I don’t know the answers, and sometimes I don’t know what questions to ask. But I’m finding infinite possibilities within the not knowing. If I don’t have preconceived notions, if I can let go of having “the answer,” the “right” thing to say or do, then the door is open wide for the client to step up.

In addition to becoming comfortable with not knowing in a coaching framework, I am facing it in my personal life as well. I’m a new parent. I’m co-creating a relationship with my daughter (and husband) each day. When I can let go of the need to know, then I find I can simply let my daughter be herself, right here, right now. We can enjoy each other deeply.

Embracing the uncertainty of not knowing is terrifying… and ultimately, freeing.

If you let go of needing to know and embrace the not-knowing (or just dip your toes in), what does that open up for you?

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Ten Things a Coach Can Do for You

Ten things a coach can do for you that your best friend might not!

A guest post from Stephanie McDilda of Roving Coach International.

1. Focus on you. Have you ever noticed how just when you need to talk about a problem or an issue, your friend wants to chime in with their story? “Well if you think that’s bad, let me tell you what happened to me!” A coach will focus on you and your story, sharing examples only if they help you learn and grow.

2. Listen professionally. A good coach is a trained professional listener. They hear what you are saying and help you listen to yourself.

3. Be honest with you! “But my friends are all honest with me . . . aren’t they?” Sometimes the people who are closest to you may want to avoid hurting you. They may fear losing your friendship. And frankly, because they like you so much, they may see only your good points.

4. Be objective. When it comes to your personal and professional life, your friends are far from neutral. If you are considering a career change that may move you across the country, it will be hard for your best friend to be impartial as they help you decide.

5. Avoid commiserating. It’s nice to have someone to dump on when you’re down or have had a hard day. A coach will be there in the bad times as well as the good. A coach, however, knows when and how to gently push you out of your pity party and into positive action.

6. Move you to action. Like your best friend, your coach wants to hear your dreams and goals. It is the rare best friend that will guide you toward a plan and concrete “do-able” actions. Coaching without action is just a pleasant conversation.

7. Develop a structured relationship with purpose. While meeting with your coach will be fun, there is a definite purpose for your getting together. That purpose may be to help you solve a problem, or reach a goal, or pursue your dream. Whatever you are seeking, your coach will work to keep you focused and moving forward.

8. Hold you accountable. A coach is not a parent. Your coach will work with you as an adult, expecting you to keep commitments and take action. Many people move forward successfully just from knowing that they have made a verbal commitment to another person.

9. Avoid judgment. You coach will be unconditionally supportive. They will be your cheerleader when you succeed and a gentle encourager when you fall down.

10. Celebrate your success. With luck, all of your friends will be happy, excited and proud of your success. Unfortunately, however, even those people who care for you may occasionally feel threatened or jealous of your accomplishments. Your coach will always rejoice in your triumphs!

 

 

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Unbalanced

As I write this, my four-week-old daughter is asleep, snug in her Baby Bjorn carrier, nestled against my chest. She is my first child, so I’m entering the world of parenthood like every other woman does: all at once, with a lot of panic and thoughts of “What the @#$!@#$ was I thinking?!” I tried not to make any set plans and to let go of my expectations before her birth, but I’m still a bit flummoxed by how much my life is changing.

 

In my coaching practice, one of the areas I frequently focus on with clients is life balance. It seems a tad ironic (or perhaps karmic) that my own life is so completely out of balance right now. But a wise colleague told me a story about Steven Covey. Apparently, Covey’s daughter called him in a panic after her child was born, and he told her that sometimes you are supposed to be utterly out of balance. Clearly, the trial-by-fire that is new parenthood is one of those times.

 

How do we cope with those massively out-of-balance times?

 

At the moment, I try to remember that I do not need to overcome this, I need to become something new (we are never overcoming, we are always becoming). I will not get back to the “way things used to be.” A change this large creates a new state of being. Adding the role of mother is an enormous shift in my identity, tasks, and self-image. That can’t be done overnight, obviously. I will co-create this role with my daughter–she will teach me how to be a mom to her. It also helps to remember that life balance is not a fixed state that one attains and then holds steady. I gave up some things (some permanently, some temporarily) to be a mom, and that certainly shifted the balance in my life. Most important, I am reminding myself to cherish these moments of my daughter’s new life–as crazy as it makes my own life–because they will go by incredibly quickly.

 

What things have made you out of balance? How did you grow from those experiences? How have they shaped what you are today?



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What Does Archer Coaching Offer?

In honor of International Coaching Week, February 6 through 12, I am posting a series of short articles about coaching.

Day 7: What Does Archer Coaching Offer?

Archer Coaching offers professional coaching and development services provided by Laura Poole, ACC. This blog post details some of what I provide, my mission and vision, and my target clients.

Vision

I have a vision of engaged communities where people are fulfilled by meaningful work and live balanced, joyful lives in alignment with their values.

Mission

To achieve my vision, I provide coaching to motivated professionals who seek to create a meaningful career path (whether that’s moving forward, moving up, or moving on) and balance their work with the other aspects of their lives in a joyous and sustainable way.

Ideal Clients

I enjoy coaching working professionals in all fields and at all levels. I choose to work with motivated people who want to create significant, purposeful work and make sure it is balanced with the rest of their lives, so the whole picture is one of joyful abundance. I frequently work with the self-employed, knowledge workers, creative people, entrepreneurs, and managers (not just executives).

Individual Coaching

The core of Archer Coaching is working with individuals. I provide a variety of ways to support clients, including half-hour and hour-long phone and Skype sessions, in-person sessions, and email check-ins. Anyone can try a complimentary sample session to explore whether coaching is right for them. I offer packages of sessions that include a la carte (purchased individually, used as desired by client) or regularly scheduled twice a month or four times a month. I have a large variety of exercises available to support clients, including a Life Plan overview and a Values Elicitation tool.

Energy Leadership Index

A powerful tool for personal insight and growth is the Energy Leadership Index assessment from iPEC. Laura is a Master Practitioner of this tool and can help you take the assessment, debrief and explain the results, and work with you (through the Energy Leadership Development System) to develop a personally effective style of ideal leadership. See the Energy Leadership pages on this site for more information.

Group and Team Coaching

Laura is also trained in providing team coaching. If you have a work or community team that is moving toward a common goal, consider what coaching for the group can accomplish. Team coaching uses coaching principles to tap into the synergistic “group think” and engage all the members, allowing creativity to flow, new thoughts and possibilities explored, and more to be accomplished.

Corporate Coaching

Through my affiliation with Roving Coach, I offer on-the-job coaching to corporate clients. In this exciting model for in situ coaching, I am available on site or virtually to any employee of a company who contracts with Roving Coach. I provide half-hour focused sessions as needed, on any issue the worker feels moved to get support for. (For more information about Roving Coach, go to their web site.)

More

In addition to core coaching services, I also offer workshops and seminars (see Speaking page for prepared topics), as well as articles (available at Ezinearticles.com) and other writing. I have a recorded teleclass on Life Balance available (see Products page), and a book coming out in mid-year 2011, Effective Coaching, 2nd edition (for managers, from McGraw-Hill).

Interested in learning more about Archer Coaching’s services? Contact Laura for more information or to schedule a complimentary session!

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My Path to Coaching and My Approach

In honor of International Coaching Week, February 6 through 12, I am posting a series of short articles about coaching.

Day 6: My Path to Coaching and My Approach

My path to becoming a coach was rather roundabout. I have an established career as a professional book copy editor, and for a while I had my own direct sales business as well. After a particularly grueling quarter with some difficult projects and a lot of extra work, I was exhausted and extremely frustrated. I felt like I was doing the same old thing over and over! I started thinking about what I really wanted, and I began to realize that I wanted my work to make a difference in the world and have an impact in people’s lives. I was getting tempting little tastes of it here and there, and I decided to ramp that up! The only problem was, I wasn’t sure what path would allow me to do that. Should I find a job somewhere? Go back to school? Try something entirely different? At that point “keep doing what I’m doing” was not an attractive option!

In what turned out to be a life-changing meeting, I attended the national conference for my sales company and met a wonderful trainer. I was struck by her enthusiasm and creative ideas, so I made a point of going up to her and asking point-blank if there was any way I could work for her! She said, “I need coaches with your sales experience” (to coach other direct sellers). Ding ding ding! The more I thought over this option, the more appealing it became. I could use my communication skills, combine them with my desire to work with people, and really help clients transform their lives for the better!

My new mentor insisted I take an ICF-accredited coach training course, and I’m so glad I did! I learned the foundation of true coaching: supporting the client to unlock his or her own genius! I’ve been able to work as a coach since 2007, and immediately loved it. In 2008 I started Archer Coaching, my own coaching practice, for working with professionals to create a meaningful career and a balanced life. In 2010, I earned my Associate Certified Coach credential from the International Coach Federation and began working with Roving Coach to offer coaching in corporations.

My approach to coaching is simple: I believe the client is whole, resourceful, and wise. My job is to help unleash a client’s inner genius by asking the right questions, providing a new viewpoint, and supporting him or her on the path to achievement. I am constantly amazed at what people can create, and how they make things happen in their lives. It’s an honor and a privilege to be a part of that. Coaching as a career is an excellent fit for my natural enthusiasm, optimism, curiosity, and desire to learn.

Tomorrow: What Does Archer Coaching Offer?

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How Do People Use Coaching?

In honor of International Coaching Week, February 6 through 12, I am posting a series of short articles about coaching.

Day 4: How Do People Use Coaching?

People can seek coaching for support in nearly every aspect of their lives. A general “life coach” or “business coach” may help a client focus on many or all aspects life or business. In a sports metaphor, a head coach, someone who oversees all aspects of the game and team, is like a life coach.

Many coaches have a specialty, or niche, and focus on helping certain kinds of people (e.g., executives, entrepreneurs, speakers, direct sellers) or address certain aspects of life (e.g., relationships, life balance, communication). A specialist coach still connects to the whole client and doesn’t work totally in isolation on one particular area. In a sports metaphor again, a specialist coach might be someone who works with basketball players only on their free throws, or a putting coach for golfers.

Clients may come to coaches with the desire to create change in one or more of the following focus areas (and many others!):

  • Career advancement
  • Career change and job seeking
  • Life balance
  • Management and executive skills
  • Starting or growing a business (including marketing)
  • Time management/productivity
  • ADD support
  • Improve communication (including presentation and professional speaking)
  • Organization
  • Relationships (including parenting)
  • Self-esteem and self-confidence
  • Handling a specific issue
  • Problem solving
  • Financial planning
  • Spiritual growth
  • Health and wellness

I’ve you’re consider hiring a coach, but are not sure what to use a coach for, ask yourself these questions: What one aspect of my life could benefit from some coaching? What one area of my life, if I improved it, would improve all the other areas?

A lot of people think that coaching only comes into play for big-picture life or career issues. Did you know that coaching can also be supportive of a single particular project or a short-term goal?

Just about anything you can imagine that has a timeline for completion can benefit from some coaching attention!

  • Writing a book
  • Creating a business plan
  • Developing a workshop or speech
  • Training plan for a triathlon
  • Losing a set amount of weight
  • Starting a club or community group
  • Planning a wedding or other large event
  • Completing college or graduate school
  • Job search
  • Work projects, such as creation of an action team or development of a program
  • Earning tenure at a university
  • Increasing sales in a single quarter
  • Marketing planning and implementation

Imagine what might be possible if you had focused support and energy around a single project. What could you achieve?

Tomorrow: Are You Coachable?

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A Coach’s Education

In honor of International Coaching Week, February 6 through 12, I am posting a series of short articles about coaching.

Day 3: The Education of a Coach
Currently, coaching is not a regulated field the way social work, therapy, and counseling are (requiring training and degrees, certification, and even licensure). Anyone can call themselves a coach, and many do so, even if coaching isn’t quite the right term for what they do. There is no required training to be a coach.

The International Coach Federation is a voluntary organization that has established core principles for training, as well as a code of ethics and credentialing levels for coaches. When seeking a professional coach, look for one with at least some training, if not certification and credentialing.
Anyone interested in becoming a coach (or learning how some coaches are trained) should go to the ICF Web site and look for Accredited Coach Training Programs (ACTPs).

To be accredited by the ICF, a coach training program must have a minimum of 125 hours of coach-specific training on the ICF Core Competencies and the ICF Code of Ethics, a minimum of six observed coaching sessions with an experienced coach, and a comprehensive final exam. A tip for clients seeking coaching: look for a coach who has completed some sort of training, preferably an ACTP.
Once a coach has completed an ACTP, he or she becomes eligible for credentialing through the ICF. There are currently three levels of credentials available to coaches: Associate Certified Coach (ACC), Professional Certified Coach (PCC), and Master Certified Coach (MCC).
For the ACC credential, the coach must graduate from the ACTP, have a minimum of 100 coaching hours and at least 8 clients, get letters of reference from experienced coaches, and more. For PCC, the applicant must have graduated from an ACTP, have 750 coaching hours and at least 25 clients, and more. For MCC, the highest level, the coach has 2,500 coaching hours, at least 35 clients, and more.
I completed an ACTP through Erickson College (The Art and Science of Coaching). When I completed modules 1-4, I earned the title of Certified Professional Coach. I then completed module 5 and earned the title Erickson Certified Professional Coach. I maintain professional membership in the ICF, which means (among other things) that I abide by their Code of Ethics. In April 2010 I applied for and was awarded my ACC credential from the International Coach Federation.
There are also accredited continuing coach education units, which help coaches grow in their skills (and are required for higher levels of credentialing). I have taken a course in Coaching Team Thinking and Innovation (from Erickson) as well as Energy Leadership Training from iPEC and am now a Master Practitioner of the Energy Leadership Index assessment. An early commitment I made to my career was to have regular continuing education so that I can grow as a coach and serve my clients with more tools.

Tomorrow: How Do People Use Coaching?

Questions about coach training? Leave a comment or contact me!

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What Does a Coach Do?

In honor of International Coaching Week, February 6 through 12, I am posting a series of short articles about coaching.

Day 2: What Does a Coach Do?

How does a coach go about supporting clients in creating what they want? There are many techniques, approaches, tools, and exercises available for coaches. Today I’m going to discuss in broad terms how a coach might go about helping a client achieve his or her goals.

A relationship between coach and client, first and foremost, is focused on the client. A person comes to a coach with a goal in mind–something to achieve, create, or change. The coach honors that goal and helps the client keep it in mind as they drill down to specific action steps together. The coach holds an objective viewpoint (as objective as possible, this is often called “coach position”) to help the client see a bigger picture and rise above distractions. The coach holds the client accountable for his or her commitments.

In a coaching relationship (lasting anywhere from a few sessions to more long-term work), the coach is responsible for the following:

  • Asking powerful questions that elicit the client’s inner resourcefulness
  • Keeping the client focused on the big, overall goals
  • Providing a safe, creative space where the client’s creativity can come forth
  • Respecting and honoring clients’ views of the world—they are the experts in their lives
  • Helping clients see the bigger, broader connections of their choices, changes, and growth
  • Encouraging the client to dream
  • Maintaining a clean “coach position” and not offering opinions, judgment, analysis, or advice
  • Communicating clearly and directly
  • Holding clients accountable as they request

A single coaching session is essentially a powerful conversation. Whether it is held over the phone or in person (or virtually), a coaching session creates a space and time in which the client can be focused on his or her goals, creativity can flow, and new options are explored. Thinking and beliefs can be examined, changed, and boosted. A coaching session can be a welcome “oasis” for a client, who may be so busy with day-to-day tasks and activities that an hour to focus on the future and desired goals helps him or her create true momentum for change and transformation.

In a coaching session, the coach might do any or all of the following:

  • Step into coach position, and listen powerfully to questions asked
  • Match the client’s energy, body language, vocal tone
  • Check in to see how things went with the client’s action items from the previous session
  • Ask what the goal for the session is and be sure it is clearly stated and measurable
  • Inquire about how achieving that goal will help things change for the client, asking whether it is compatible with the overall goal and life values of the client (connecting to big picture).
  • Invite the client to brainstorm on how he or she might go about making that change or reaching that goal
  • Offer exercises, tools, and techniques that could help a client get “unstuck” or tap into deeper resources (it is the client’s choice whether to make use of these tools)
  • Keep the client focused on him- or herself and on the future
  • Help the client choose among potential action items to develop a plan to implement
  • Ask how the client will remain committed to the action plan and how he or she wants the coach to follow up

A trained and experienced coach has many other tools to offer clients in a session or across a working relationship. The description here is very broad!

Tomorrow: The Education of a Coach

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What Is Coaching?

In honor of International Coaching Week, February 6 through 12, I am posting a series of short articles about coaching.

Day 1: What Is Coaching?
A lot of people aren’t really sure what coaching is (and isn’t). Coaching is a relatively new (and still developing) field, and as such, a clear definition is sometimes elusive. Some seem to think that people come to a coach with their problems and then are told what to do, much as a mentor relationship works. Others tend to think of a coach as a sort of therapist.

For the clearest, simplest definition of coaching I’ve found, I quote the International Coach Federation: “Coaching is partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.”

Coaching is focused on working with clients to help them create what they want–a compelling vision, an action plan, commitment, and achievement! A coach honors the client as the expert in his or her own life and elicits creativity and resourcefulness, without offering a set path of “what to do.”

As a coach, I support my clients by listening, questioning, observing, eliciting solutions, and holding them accountable to action steps. I do not offer advice but help a client find her or her own path to sustainable change. I step into clients’ perspectives and help them move forward to achieve their goals and transform their lives, while also reminding them to look at the big picture, beyond the immediate effects of their choices and actions. I have a variety of tools and exercises that can help clients tap their potential and move forward toward achieving their dreams.

I am frequently asked about the difference between coaching and therapy or counseling. A lot of people think that coaching is very similar to therapy or counseling, and many counselors and therapists are adding coaching skills to support their clients. There is a primary difference, though, and here it is: Coaching always looks forward, to the future, to getting what the client wants. Therapy and counseling frequently look backward, to what went wrong in the past, to analysis.

As a coach, I believe my clients are whole, absolutely all right, and already have all the resources they need to succeed. My job is to help them unlock their genius. It’s not about “fixing” problems, or blaming and shaming, it’s about moving forward to create a powerful future. A client in crisis (say, with a serious mental health issue such as bipolar disorder) may not benefit from coaching if it is applied to the issue. I am the first to say that I cannot help someone in crisis, and I do refer them to other professionals, as appropriate. However, someone with a mental health issue may still benefit from coaching if it is applied to other areas of his or her life.

Counseling and therapy tend to look more at what is not whole, what might be broken, or what is in crisis (I admit these are very broad generalizations). Coaching is a powerful method for getting what you want, but it is no replacement for therapy or counseling when these are needed.

Tomorrow: What Does a Coach Do?

For more about coaching, see the ICF.

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New Year’s Revolution

(Note: this is a reprint, with a few updates, from last year’s post about New Year’s Resolutions.)

The calendar year is nearly finished, with a new one looming immediately. Your thoughts might be turning to New Year’s resolutions. I’ve heard many people say, “I don’t make resolutions, since I never keep them, so then I don’t feel guilty.” Others make a lot of resolutions and then keep one or two. Some might make resolutions and then promptly forget them. And some use the opportunity of New Year’s resolutions to make a real change in their lives.

I am a fan of resolutions! I feel that if they are made properly, with the right mindset and with an action plan, they can help a person grow. So here, without further ado, is my completely unofficial handy-dandy guide to make a resolution that you can (more likely) stick with.

1. Ditch any thoughts that begin with “I should,” “I ought to,” or “I really need to…” If you’re nagging yourself before even making the resolution, your chances of keeping it are pretty low. (See Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda for better tips on self-motivating talk.)

2. Ask yourself: “What do I want more of in my life?” and “Where can I grow?” Asking yourself a question like this will lead to you being more likely to stick to a goal. Instead of just “denying” yourself something (quit smoking, stop biting your nails), commit to something positive! For instance, if you want more joy in your daily life, you might resolve to do something you really enjoy once a week, like playing golf or watching a movie in a theater. If you do want to do something like lose weight, you can put it in a positive framework, perhaps by saying, “I resolve to improve my health and wear a size 8 by end of next year.”

3. Make your resolution SMART: specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and time-limited. If it doesn’t meet these criteria, then it’s not likely you will achieve your goal. Remember, your resolutions (like all your goals) should be something within your control! Resolving to win the lottery is useless, as that is not in your control. Resolving to buy a lottery ticket every week certainly is in your control.

4. Ask yourself the critical follow-up question: “How will I achieve this?” This is the lynchpin that can keep your goal linked to reality. A pie-in-the-sky goal like “I resolve to make a million dollars this year” doesn’t do anything for you if you don’t have a plan for achieving it. Follow up a good resolution with a plan for action! For instance, if you resolve to shave 10 points off your golf game, you might create an action plan that involves some lessons with a pro, more time at the driving range, and watching some videos to help you improve your putting.

5. Put it on paper. Write down your resolution; and put action benchmarks in your planner, so you can check in throughout the year. When you write something down, it becomes more real to you. Writing something is a deliberate act, and little more mindful than just saying something out loud. You can also make a “dream board” with pictures of your achieved goals, to help motivate you.

6. Get some accountability! Got a buddy with the same resolution? Check in with each other! This works particularly well if you want to learn a new skill (take a class together, practice together) or do something like lose weight (gym buddies) or stop smoking (support group).

Always remember, you don’t have to wait until January 1 to get started on a new resolution. There are new years starting every day! Some notable new years include Chinese New Year (lunar new year), which is on February 14, 2010; several cultures celebrate new year on the vernal equinox. There is also Rosh Hashanah (Jewish new year), Samhain (Celtic new year), and of course, your own birthday.

Anyone want to share their resolutions in the comments? I’m always intrigued! In the interest of full disclosure, I’ll share three of mine from 2010, with updates.

1. I resolve to work hard on my business so that my average monthly income doubles. [I did manage to achieve this a couple of times!]
2. I resolve to work on and complete at least one monk’s cloth embroidery project. [Ok, I didn't do this. I had no accountability on it, though.]
3. I resolve to cook a real meal every other week (husband agreed to do the same!) [Started out well, but this was perhaps overly ambitious for me.]

I’m still working on my 2011 resolutions. I have some major changes coming up next year, primarily the birth of my first child in early March-ish. I think my resolutions will focus on navigating change and growing into my role as a mom.

What are your resolutions? How do you keep them?

Want to turn your resolutions into reality? Check out my special package for launching your success in 2011: four one-hour coaching sessions at a discount price!

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