Archer Coaching

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Thinking Bigger: The VA Experience

Feb 19

Posted by Laura in Communications, Creativity, Uncategorized, change, clarity, experience, momentum, planning, professional image, success | No Comments

Loyal blog readers may remember some time ago that I posted about the three D’s of task management: delete, defer, and delegate. Well, I’ve had some serious experience with delegating recently. I hired a virtual assistant (VA) several months ago. The different in my business, my approach to it, and my personal growth has been startling! I want to share my experiences here, partly to sing the praises of VAs and partly to show how a simple change can bring about profound learning.

Virtual assistants can do all kinds of support work for a businessperson. Without getting into too much detail, they can offer administrative support, some Web work, design, event planning, phone calls, documentation, you name it. I found my VA through a local networking group, and we signed a contract by which she provides me 4 hours of her services each month. How I ask her to use the time is up to me. So far, I have had her work on both of my Web sites (which were recently relaunched in Wordpress), design promotional flyers for and assist with some training events, optimize my profile on some business networking sites, make phone calls and perform some research, and create a PowerPoint presentation from some extremely raw text. I plan to have her help me with a newsletter, more slide presentations, and some marketing tasks in the future!

What surprised me in the process of making use of this support is how much it helped me grow! The lessons ran deeper than I could have imagined (and are still revealing themselves to me). Here are some of them.

  • I was pushed (in a good way) to let go of something and trust another person to handle it. I’ve been self-employed for 14 years, and because I’ve always had to handle everything, it’s fair to say I became a bit of a control freak. I’m so used to handling it all–it was a challenge to let something go. When I was able to do so, a lot of new, exciting opportunities for my time and energy opened up!
  • I became more engaged in my best work. Because I now have support around the details and busy-work of my company, I have more of my brain power and heart invested in the actual work–that of coaching. I no longer have to fret over details because I have a trusted person to handle them for me. I can truly focus on serving my clients.
  • I opened the door to more profitability. I was shocked when I realized that my VA could spend 1 hour on something that would take me 4 or more hours (and a lot of frustration) to get done. I can use those 4 hours to do billable work! Also, because she can support me with excellent work, I’ve accelerated my plans on a lot of my business-building ideas, which will bring more clients to me.
  • I began to see more possibilities in my business. As I was challenged to come up with tasks for my VA (she works so fast!), I started to see a lot more opportunities for myself and my business. Currently, she is developing a slide presentation for me from very raw text and images. This will be published on SlideShare and available for free to anyone who is interested. Before I met my VA, I doubt I ever would have considered this. I don’t like slides, and I don’t know how to use PowerPoint well, and it would have perpetually been put on the back burner. Now it’s happening! More creative ideas are coming to me all the time, and I’m energized to attack them.
  • I started thinking like a bigger company. Suddenly, I have “people.” I can take on bigger projects, bigger commitments because I have support in other areas. I feel more professional. I’ve widened my playing field. This has opened up even more opportunities, and I find I’m incredibly excited and engaged with my business all over again!

Obviously, I recommend a good VA if you need or want some support in your business. As you think about the cost of hiring someone, weight it against the immediate benefits of getting things done, and remember to think about the bigger picture advantages!

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Mulligans

Jan 27

Posted by Laura in Appreciation, Mindfulness, Resolution, blessing, change, clarity, failure, joy, love | No Comments

I hereby declare “do-overs” for January 2010. Yep, we are starting over, rebooting the year. Mulligans for all!

All around me, people are having a rough start to the new year. Many were bidding adieu (and good riddance) to a difficult 2009, and then 2010 starts off with a few hard punches to the gut. Around me I see lost jobs, breakdowns, deaths, ended relationships, and diminished resources, not to mention the obvious natural disasters. Mercury is in retrograde, I hear. Perhaps we can blame it on that.

Last night at a local meeting, I had the privilege of hearing the fantastic Mary Cantando speak. One of the points she made that stuck with me was that when something bad happens, try to look for the silver lining, specifically by saying (aloud) “Three good things about this are…” Once you say it out loud, the good things start to flow from your brain. When you can consistently look for the good, it can help you balance the bad and not let it get hold of you.

Three good things about a very hard month?

  1. Difficulties around us bring out the very best in humanity (giving, caring, loving).
  2. We are reminded that every moment of our (normal, mundane) lives is incredibly precious.
  3. We are challenged to grow larger than the problems that try to derail us.

We won’t get do-overs for January, but perhaps we don’t really need them. We can and will rebuild and create something wonderful, among the rubble of the pain, loss, and heartache. This is what defines success: not avoiding being knocked down, but continually getting back up after it (inevitably) happens.

The Three D’s: Delegate

Jan 18

Posted by Laura in Mindfulness, balance, clarity, performance, planning, time | No Comments

There is a task management mantra that many people swear by (including me, and some of my clients). If you are feeling overwhelmed, start implementing the three D’s: delete, defer, and delegate. Write it across the top of your week or month in your planner or calendar, so you are reminded of it as you review your tasks.

I’ve used and recommended this technique for while, and it seems fairly simple, but there can be surprising depth in this simple process, so I have decided to explore it in a short series of blog posts. I’ve previously discussed the first D (delete) and the second D (defer).

The third D: delegate. If a task cannot be deleted or easily deferred until later, consider delegating it to someone else. I find this option to be a little harder than deferring, but not quite as difficult as deleting. Here’s why: delegating a task to someone else means letting go of it. Sometimes, letting go feels like relinquishing responsibility, and that can engender some guilty feelings.

Instead, look at it this way: if you delegate a task, what does that free up for you? Letting someone else do it will create more space in your planner and your life. What could you do with that time and space?

A good example: last year, I met and then hired a virtual assistant to help me with office work a few hours a month. I’m still learning to think in terms of delegating tasks to her, which is a challenge. What I have found is that when she completes a task for me, she does it in about a fourth to a half the amount of time I would take to do it. This frees me up to do higher-level billable work and creative thinking. As I tell people, she works ON my business, so I can work IN my business. Because of this, I am learning to thing bigger and my creativity is flowing, because I know she can handle the smaller details that distract me!

Some other places one can delegate (even if you don’t have underlings at work!):

  1. Hire a CPA (worth every penny)
  2. Get a cleaning service
  3. Find a virtual assistant
  4. Get a personal organizer (extremely helpful)
  5. Assign the kids more chores

What are some creative ways to delegate tasks?

The Three D’s: Delete

Jan 5

Posted by Laura in Goals, Mindfulness, Uncategorized, balance, clarity, confidence, planning, resistance, time | 2 Comments

There is a task management mantra that many people swear by (including me, and some of my clients). If you are feeling overwhelmed, start implementing the three D’s: delete, defer, and delegate. Write it across the top of your week or month in your planner or calendar, so you are reminded of it as you review your tasks.

I’ve used and recommended this technique for while, and it seems fairly simple, but there can be surprising depth in this simple process, so I have decided to explore it in a short series of blog posts. Let’s jump right in, shall we?

The first D: delete. This is fairly obvious–get rid of those things on your calendar or to-do list that you can really do without. Sometimes it can be surprisingly difficult to make this cut. We find it much easier to defer until later, or delegate to someone else. We tend to overcommit, we like to be involved, we want to say “yes” to everything. Suddenly, our calendar can fill up with the usual assortment of appointments, get-togethers, parties, meals, and all kinds of other events. If we do a lot of business networking or are self-employed, the list of appointments and tasks gets even longer. Suddenly the days are chopped up with a lot of busy-work, and not enough real meat to the day. Ever feel like you were running around a lot, but not really accomplishing anything? I know that feeling well. It leads to burnout, where you then end up doing nothing at all just to recuperate.

“But wait,” you might be protesting, “if I put a task on my calendar or in a list, then clearly I need to do it, I must do it, and therefore I can’t possibly delete it.” How can you approach your task list with an eye for removing some items?

You can, of course, begin by asking yourself question like, “Is it truly necessary? Does it have a big/immediate payoff? What’s in it for me?” Those can help you do a preliminary cull (or figure out what to defer or delegate).

It’s more enlightening to ask yourself something like “If I say NO to this task, what does that open up for me?” and “What do I want more of in my life? What am I willing to trade off to get it?” These kind of questions work particularly well if you look at standing commitments–things you do every week or month, or even just once or twice a year.

For example, I used to volunteer regularly at my local classical music station, every time they had a call-in fundraiser. At the time, I listened to the station a lot while I was working, and I like giving my time to help out, even when it took a significant portion of my workday. After a few years, I realized I was only agreeing to volunteer because I felt bad saying “no”–even though I no longer listened to the station! I was able to decline the next request to volunteer and reclaim a bit of my schedule.

It is difficult to say “no.” However, if you have thought through your needs and desires and can say “no” from a place of wholeness and love, you will open up new possibilities for your personal growth and joy. You will allow yourself to be your best because you can choose and commit to things with intention and mindfulness.

How do you cut items from your list or planner?

Winter Solstice

Dec 21

Posted by Laura in Appreciation, Creativity, Path, Resolution, blessing, change, clarity, experience, holiday | 1 Comment

Today is the Winter Solstice. We experienced the least amount of daylight for the whole year today. The Northern Hemisphere is at its farthest point from the sun. From here on out, the daylight lingers, taking up more of the day, all the way up to the Vernal Equinox, when sunlight and night are equal, to the Summer Solstice, where it begins to fade again. It’s the also the first day of winter, when things appear dead or at least hibernating, storing energy to burst forth in spring. Notable days like these make me think of cycles, seasons, and changes.

As the leaves fell and the rain came down this autumn, I was thinking of ways to shed unnecessary things in my life. Like the church season of Advent, I am preparing for the arrival of some changes. I make room in my life, trusting that the universe will fill it with what I am manifesting. As I let go of things that had a hold on me, I find a new lightness, a new energy, a new creativity. My email box is clean, my office is tidied up, a fresh new desk calendar awaits a year full of joyful events. I’m purging things from my home, reexamining my commitments, seeking experiences rather than objects.

Seasons change, solstices and equinoxes come and go, tides rise and ebb. The cycles of our lives are marked in more ways than sunlight or water. A new calendar year is coming. How are we changing? What are we becoming? What are we creating room for?

>Purpose

Jul 20

Posted by Laura in Purpose, clarity | No Comments

>I was invited on a business retreat last week (which was wonderful, and the content of it would fill several more blog posts!). In the process, I was introduced to a wonderful book called Bringers of the Light by Neale Donald Walsch (who wrote the Conversations with God books).

The very first step in the book is about declaring your purpose in life. Walsch puts forward an interesting (and powerful) proposal: That your purpose in life is something you decide, not something that you search for or is revealed to you. Decide what your purpose is! To me, this is a subtle but tremendous mind shift.
I’ve been working on clarifying my purpose for the past few days. When I decided on it, it seemed that it was simultaneously revealed to me! At first it seemed incomplete, then I thought that maybe my purpose is really that simple.
And here it is: My purpose is joy. Joy for me, joy for others. My work supports joy, and I seek it out wherever I am.
What is your purpose?

>Purpose

Jul 20

Posted by Laura in Purpose, clarity | No Comments

>I was invited on a business retreat last week (which was wonderful, and the content of it would fill several more blog posts!). In the process, I was introduced to a wonderful book called Bringers of the Light by Neale Donald Walsch (who wrote the Conversations with God books).

The very first step in the book is about declaring your purpose in life. Walsch puts forward an interesting (and powerful) proposal: That your purpose in life is something you decide, not something that you search for or is revealed to you. Decide what your purpose is! To me, this is a subtle but tremendous mind shift.
I’ve been working on clarifying my purpose for the past few days. When I decided on it, it seemed that it was simultaneously revealed to me! At first it seemed incomplete, then I thought that maybe my purpose is really that simple.
And here it is: My purpose is joy. Joy for me, joy for others. My work supports joy, and I seek it out wherever I am.
What is your purpose?

>Emotional Detox, part 3

Nov 13

Posted by Laura in clarity, toxic relationships | No Comments

>Continuing to ask yourself questions…

Get centered. Find an internal reason to end the toxic situation or relationship. When you can break off for a reason that is about self-preservation, instead of punishing or otherwise getting back at others, you will find an inner core of strength. When it’s about you, no one can successfully attack you, manipulate you, or guilt-trip you into remaining in the toxic mess. Alternately, if you have to remain in the mess for a while (say, a team project at work that’s in meltdown, but has a deadline and will presumably be over then), getting centered can help you gain some clarity and hold some inner peace during the process.

I decided that the amount of time I spent being angry at Holly was unacceptable to me. I have many things I want to accomplish, and I wanted time and energy to do them—time and energy I was wasting being angry. A few days after this realization, a small event prompted something of a confrontation between me and Holly. Because I had an internal reason to hold firm, I was able to deflect any argument. I came at it from a place of internal strength, which made all the difference. 

Focus on the how, not the why. Instead of pointing fingers, blaming and shaming, having a major showdown, or lashing out in retaliation, focus on your own behavior and what it will take to get clear. If you are dialed in on your own personal reasons, as in the previous step, then the way out will become clear. 

Toughen up. If the situation demands defusing, disentangling yourself, or an unavoidable confrontation, be prepared. Keep that big-picture view, focus on your personal reasons, and stick to what you’ve planned for getting out of the mess, if possible. When communicating with others, keep your comments focused on yourself. Yes, it may hurt the person when you break off, but their happiness is not your responsibility. 

I like to imagine I’m putting on a Teflon cloak, kind of like Harry Potter’s cloak of invisibility. Arguments, anger, and manipulation simply slide right off. The “confrontation” Holly and I had ended with me simply asking her not to contact me for a while. She wasn’t happy about it and tried to convince me otherwise, but I was coming from a place of personal peace in my request, so I was able to remain firm. 

I haven’t spoken with Holly in over 6 months now. It took some time for me to discharge my pent-up anger, and now I’m happier (and healthier) for it. I see her at various social events, and I say hello—I don’t shun her, and I made sure that I never put our mutual friends at a point where they would have to take sides. I wish her well, and when anyone asks me if I will ever be friends with her again, I say I don’t know. For now, it’s best for me to not get emotionally involved with her.

As a New Year approaches, I challenge you to take stock of your life. Where can you reclaim your emotional wellness? What aspects of your life need a little detox? What kind of person will you be when you shed the negative and move forward?

>Emotional Detox, part 3

Nov 13

Posted by Laura in clarity, toxic relationships | No Comments

>Continuing to ask yourself questions…

Get centered. Find an internal reason to end the toxic situation or relationship. When you can break off for a reason that is about self-preservation, instead of punishing or otherwise getting back at others, you will find an inner core of strength. When it’s about you, no one can successfully attack you, manipulate you, or guilt-trip you into remaining in the toxic mess. Alternately, if you have to remain in the mess for a while (say, a team project at work that’s in meltdown, but has a deadline and will presumably be over then), getting centered can help you gain some clarity and hold some inner peace during the process.

I decided that the amount of time I spent being angry at Holly was unacceptable to me. I have many things I want to accomplish, and I wanted time and energy to do them—time and energy I was wasting being angry. A few days after this realization, a small event prompted something of a confrontation between me and Holly. Because I had an internal reason to hold firm, I was able to deflect any argument. I came at it from a place of internal strength, which made all the difference. 

Focus on the how, not the why. Instead of pointing fingers, blaming and shaming, having a major showdown, or lashing out in retaliation, focus on your own behavior and what it will take to get clear. If you are dialed in on your own personal reasons, as in the previous step, then the way out will become clear. 

Toughen up. If the situation demands defusing, disentangling yourself, or an unavoidable confrontation, be prepared. Keep that big-picture view, focus on your personal reasons, and stick to what you’ve planned for getting out of the mess, if possible. When communicating with others, keep your comments focused on yourself. Yes, it may hurt the person when you break off, but their happiness is not your responsibility. 

I like to imagine I’m putting on a Teflon cloak, kind of like Harry Potter’s cloak of invisibility. Arguments, anger, and manipulation simply slide right off. The “confrontation” Holly and I had ended with me simply asking her not to contact me for a while. She wasn’t happy about it and tried to convince me otherwise, but I was coming from a place of personal peace in my request, so I was able to remain firm. 

I haven’t spoken with Holly in over 6 months now. It took some time for me to discharge my pent-up anger, and now I’m happier (and healthier) for it. I see her at various social events, and I say hello—I don’t shun her, and I made sure that I never put our mutual friends at a point where they would have to take sides. I wish her well, and when anyone asks me if I will ever be friends with her again, I say I don’t know. For now, it’s best for me to not get emotionally involved with her.

As a New Year approaches, I challenge you to take stock of your life. Where can you reclaim your emotional wellness? What aspects of your life need a little detox? What kind of person will you be when you shed the negative and move forward?

>Detox, part 2

Nov 11

Posted by Laura in clarity, toxic relationships | No Comments

>

How do you break free and detox your emotional life? How do you get back in control? 

Take the big-picture view. Find a moment to be alone in a safe, supportive location, and take some deep breaths to relax a bit. Close your eyes and visualize floating above yourself, zooming up until you’re all the way in the atmosphere of the planet, leaving your emotions down on the ground. In your mind’s eye, look down at yourself from orbit. You’re stepping out of the whole mess and looking back at it. What do you notice about yourself? How are you behaving? Do you like what you see? What would someone else notice about the situation? Step outside yourself and take an objective view.

In the case of me and Holly, I was shocked when I realized I was going behind her back and complaining to others (something I am still not proud of). I did not like this picture of myself, and it was truly eye-opening to see it. 

Do the math. How much of your time and energy are you spending dealing with or responding to the person or situation? 

When I was most angry and frustrated with Holly, I was stunned to find that I was spending up to 2 hours a day (at least 10 hours a week) either dealing with her, complaining about her, or just being angry. 

Ask yourself the important questions.

  • Is it worth it to stay in this situation/relationship? (The answer might be “yes,” especially if it is time-limited.)
  • What is best for me?
  • What are my goals or purpose for this relationship/situation, and are they being met?
  • What else could I do with that time and energy?
  • If I was just dropped into this situation or relationship today, without having known all the history that precedes it, would I still be in it?
  • If I met this person today, would I like him or her?
  • What am I tolerating here that isn’t serving me?

A friend of mine broke off a toxic friendship when she sat down to dinner with the person and thought, “If I met you today, I wouldn’t like you enough to get to know you better.” Another colleague asked herself, “How many times are you going to let this happen to you before you stop being in this situation?”

During a session with Meg, I asked her what her purpose was for being involved with her son’s soccer team parents group. Her reply was that it was so her son could have fun. When I asked if the current situation was helping her achieve that goal, she said, “No, it’s not,” with a noticeable sound of wonder in her voice as this realization came to her. Getting back to her primary goals helped her see clearly how the situation was draining her energy, getting her off track, and not supporting her son’s enjoyment of the sport. She was able to gracefully extract herself without hurting anyone else’s feelings, and she retained a sense of clarity and peace throughout the process.

Tomorrow: More important questions, and a strategy for getting clear.