Archer Coaching

Coaching you on your path to joyful abundance.

Archive for category Coaching

Pet Projects

Jun 5

Posted by Laura in Coaching, Making an impact, Powerful questions, blessing, change, choice, education, experience, momentum, performance, planning, success | No Comments

A lot of people think that coaching only comes into play for big-picture life or career issues. Did you know that coaching can also be supportive of a single particular project?

Coaching is a collaborative relationship in which the client is supported in creating what he or she wants in the present and future. Certainly this is extremely helpful in terms of broad aspects of one’s life, such as finances, career, communication, spirituality, and more. Imagine what might be possible if you had this kind of focused support and energy around a project. What could you achieve?

You might wonder what kind of projects are appropriate for a coaching relationship. The answer: just about anything you can imagine that has a timeline for completion!

  • writing a book
  • creating a business plan
  • developing a workshop or speech
  • training plan for a triathlon
  • starting a club or community group
  • planning a wedding or other large event
  • completing college or graduate school
  • job search
  • work projects, such as creation of an action team or development of a program
  • earning tenure at a university

What are your pet projects? What would you like to accomplish, and by when?

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Making Space

May 18

Posted by Laura in Appreciation, Coaching, Creativity, Mindfulness, Path, Powerful questions, Uncategorized, balance, blessing, change, choice, clarity, planning, time | No Comments

When there is something big you want to create in your life, how do you make room for it? If you want to start your own business, get married, travel a lot, have children, start a new hobby, and so on, how do you create space for it? I’m talking beyond just wedging it into your calendar, saving money, or clearing out a corner of your home.

I’ll give a personal example. For a long time, I’ve held space in my heart and in my dreams for motherhood. In talking with my husband about having a child, he asked a great question: “How will we have a kid when we’re so busy as it is? How will we fit it in?” I realized then that something that large and life-changing doesn’t just get “penciled in” to our existing life. We must create space for it, giving up certain things and changing others so that we might be healthy, whole, and ready.

So I began paring down my responsibilities, specifically by deciding not to step up for officer roles in various professional organizations I belong to. I did some reading about fertility, learned how to chart, started taking prenatal vitamins, and tried to eat better and exercise more. I had some appointments with my doctors to deal with various issues I was concerned with. I put some money in a savings account to use during maternity leave.

I’m going through a similar process of making choices with my business right now. I am evaluating my commitments and side projects, winnowing some down so I can focus on my core interests and my best work. It’s a little bittersweet at times, saying goodbye to something that was fun but no longer moves me in the direction I want to go. But it opens new doors of opportunity, and that’s quite exciting to me!

I’ve blogged before about setting a goal and making sure it is SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and timed). Coaching is a way to help people set goals, figure out a plan, and track toward achieving it. Making space is a critical step that might get overlooked by some. We can’t keep cramming our lives full of stuff to do without occasionally weeding some things out and changing others.

What do you do to make space? What do you make space for?

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Creating Balance

Mar 27

Posted by Laura in Coaching, Mindfulness, Powerful questions, balance, blessing, choice, clarity, definition, joy, time | No Comments

(Originally published at FemCentral, which is a terrific site you should bookmark and return to often!)

Life balance has become a sort of holy grail in modern times. It’s hard to recognize it when we experience it, but we all know when we’re out of balance. Feeling overwhelmed, extra-stressed, drained, demoralized, and burned out are just some of the feelings that indicate a dramatic unbalance. So what is life balance, and how can we get some?

To start with, life balance is not time management. Life balance is not about fitting everything in, or saying “yes” to everything, or even allotting equal time to different parts of your life (work/family being an obvious example). It’s about knowing when to say “yes” and when to say “no.” This includes taking stock of the things that are important to you and making sure they are priorities in your life. Time and task management do not equal life balance, but they can be tools for helping you maintain it.

Whenever an opportunity comes up–a request to do something, volunteer opportunities, classes, work opportunities, anything at all–you have a choice of saying “yes” or “no.” Many people want to please or help others, like the feeling of being asked, want to feel accomplished or rewarded, or sometimes just feel obligated, so they almost automatically say “yes” to everything. It can be wonderful to experience growth and accomplishment from your commitments. But if you say “yes” to everything, you will very quickly find yourself overwhelmed, which can push you into crisis mode.

Some mindfulness and some intentionality when making commitments or accepting responsibilities offers a lot of clarity. Ask yourself the following questions when any kind of opportunity comes your way:

1. If I say “yes” to this, what else am I saying “yes” to? What am I saying “no” to?
2. If I say “no” to this, what am I saying “yes” to? What else am I saying “no” to?

It can be difficult to remember these yes/no options as things come up, so try asking yourself these questions about something that is already on your plate. You may find that there are more benefits than you thought to something you’ve agreed to; conversely, there may be higher costs associated with a task or responsibility. Don’t be afraid to let go of a responsibility or commitment that is no longer serving you.

I have found that when asking myself these yes/no questions before making a commitment, my values really start to show up. The things that are truly important to me make themselves known, and I can make a much more informed decision. It’s far more profound than just listing pros and cons. If I can see clearly what saying “yes” or “no” does for me on a personal level, then I can either accept joyfully or turn away from it with a sense of peace and wholeness.

Another key concept in life balance is prioritizing the things that are important to you. Steven Covey talks about this in his book First Things First: you don’t just prioritize the schedule, you schedule the priorities. Think about your life and the things that are important to you. If you want to be sure to be there in your roles as wife, mother, friend, healthy person, and spiritual seeker (to name a few of the many roles available to us), then you need to make sure your calendar reflects those commitments. If you believe that family is the most important thing, but your schedule is filled with extra work assignments, lots of networking, and business travel, you will feel the stress and disconnect of not sharing yourself with your family. A calendar review (weekly, monthly, however frequently you like) with your various roles and values in mind can really serve you in creating space in your life for all the things that are important. You can raise your awareness about your wants and needs and make sure that you have committed time to experience them in your life.

As you move forward with these techniques and some mindful intentionality in applying them in your life, you will experience several shifts. Shifts in your thinking will lead to new feelings, which create new actions and new results. You may find that your relationships grow and deepen when you make them a priority. You might stop feeling guilty when you say “no.” And you may end up with far more meaningful opportunities coming your way because you can wisely discern the ones that are right for you.

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The Education of a Coach

Mar 19

Posted by Laura in Coaching, Path, clarity, confidence, definition, education, performance, success, training | 1 Comment

I am thrilled to announce that I am now officially a graduate of an accredited coach training program! This is a big milestone in my coaching career, and it opens the doors for more learning and credentialing. I recognize that coach training is not well defined in the general public, so this blog post discusses training options and describes my own coach education.

Currently, coaching is not a regulated field the way social work, therapy, and counseling are (requiring training and degrees, certification, and even licensure). Anyone can call themselves a coach, and many do so, even if coaching isn’t quite the right term for what they do. There is no required training to be a coach. The International Coach Federation is a voluntary organization that has established core principles for training, as well as a code of ethics and credentialing levels for coaches.

For anyone interested in becoming a coach, go to the ICF Web site and look for Accredited Coach Training Programs (ACTPs). To be accredited by the ICF, a coach training program must have a minimum of 125 hours of coach-specific training on all the ICF Core Competencies and the ICF Code of Ethics, a minimum of six observed coaching sessions with an experienced coach, and a comprehensive final exam. A tip for clients seeking coaching: look for a coach who has completed some sort of training, preferably an ACTP.

My ACTP was offered through Erickson College, The Art and Science of Coaching. When I completed modules 1-4, I earned the title of Certified Professional Coach. I have just completed module 5, and I am now considered a graduate of an ACTP and have the title Erickson Certified Professional Coach. I also maintain professional membership in the ICF, which means (among other things) that I abide by their Code of Ethics.

Once a coach has completed an ACTP, he or she becomes eligible for credentialing through the ICF. There are currently three levels of credentials available to coaches: Associate Certified Coach (ACC), Professional Certified Coach (PCC), and Master Certified Coach (MCC).

For the ACC credential, the coach must graduate from the ACTP, have a minimum of 100 coaching hours and at least 8 clients, get letters of reference, and more. For PCC, the applicant must have graduated from an ACTP, have 750 coaching hours and at least 25 clients, and more. For MCC, the highest level, the coach has 2,500 coaching hours, at least 35 clients, and more. I will be applying for my ACC credential within the next six months.

There are also accredited continuing coach education units, which help coaches grow in their skills (and are required for higher levels of credentialing). I have taken a course in Coaching Team Thinking and Innovation (from Erickson) as well as Energy Leadership Training (from iPEC; more on that in a later blog post). An early commitment I made to my career was to have regular continuing education so that I can grow as a coach and serve my clients with more tools.

Questions about coach training? Leave a comment or email me!

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Should You Hire a Life Coach?

Mar 17

Posted by Laura in Appreciation, Coaching, Creativity, Making an impact, clarity, confidence, experience, planning, success | No Comments

I am absolutely tickled pink about an article a former client wrote. Some time ago, I donated three coaching sessions as the door prize at a Toastmasters conference. I very much enjoyed working with the recipient. She let me know that she just wrote an article about hiring and working with a life coach.

So here it is: Life Coach: Should You Hire One?

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A Bigger Game

Mar 13

Posted by Laura in Coaching, Creativity, Dreaming, Making an impact, Mindfulness, Powerful questions, Uncategorized, blessing, change, clarity, joy, momentum, performance, planning, resistance | 2 Comments

Recently I completed some fantastic training on Energy Leadership with iPEC in New Jersey. Like most coach training, we learn techniques and concepts and then practice on each other, which opens the door for a lot of new learning, breakthroughs, and transformative thinking! A major takeaway for me from the weekend was this: It’s time for me to play a bigger game.

I have been stagnating in a few areas of my life and not stepping up to the plate with my true potential. I’ve been playing it safe, going with “good enough,” and making a lot excuses for not going bigger. I dug a comfortable little hidey hole in my complacency and fear. I have allowed certain beliefs and thoughts to hold me back.

The experience of new training and new thinking challenged me in these areas. It was really uncomfortable, and I felt a lot of resistance at first–which means that is precisely where I need to grow. Once I realized that I was playing small, it became more and more evident to me based on some feelings (and actions) I have had lately.

Now I’m completely energized and excited about the next phase of my life game.

So I hereby make this promise: I promise to play bigger. For myself, for my clients, for the world.

How will you show up for a bigger game in your life?

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You Say You Want a Resolution

Dec 28

Posted by Laura in Coaching, Goals, Mindfulness, Resolution, Uncategorized, change, holiday, momentum, planning | No Comments

The calendar year is nearly finished, with a new one looming immediately. Your thoughts might be turning to New Year’s resolutions. I’ve heard many people say, “I don’t make resolutions, since I never keep them, so then I don’t feel guilty.” Others make a lot of resolutions and then keep one or two. Some might make resolutions and then promptly forget them. And some people use the opportunity of New Year’s resolutions to make a real change in their lives.

I am a fan of resolutions! I feel that if they are made properly, with the right mindset and with an action plan, they can help a person grow. So here, without further ado, is my completely unofficial handy-dandy guide to make a resolution that you can (more likely) stick with.

1. Ditch any thoughts that begin with “I should,” “I ought to,” or “I really need to…” If you’re nagging yourself before even making the resolution, your chances of keeping it are pretty low.

2. Ask yourself: “What do I want more of in my life?” and “Where can I grow?” Asking yourself a positive question like this will lead to you being more likely to stick to a goal. Instead of just “denying” yourself something (quit smoking, stop biting your nails), commit to something positive! For instance, if you want more joy in your daily life, you might resolve to do something you really enjoy once a week, like playing golf or watching a movie in a theater. If you do want to do something like lose weight, you can put it in a positive framework, perhaps by saying, “I resolve to improve my health and wear a size 8 by end of next year.”

3. Make your resolution SMART: specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and time-limited. If it doesn’t meet these criteria, then it’s not likely you will achieve your goal. Remember, your resolutions (like all your goals) should be something within your control! Resolving to win the lottery is useless, as that is not in your control. Resolving to buy a lottery ticket every week certainly is in your control.

4. Ask yourself the critical follow-up question: “How will I achieve this?” This is the lynchpin that can keep your goal linked to reality. A pie-in-the-sky goal like “I resolve to make a million dollars this year” doesn’t do anything for you if you don’t have a plan for achieving it. Follow up a good resolution with a plan for action! For instance, if you resolve to shave 10 points off your golf game, you might create an action plan that involves some lessons with a pro, more time at the driving range, and watching some videos to help you improve your putting.

5. Put it on paper. Write down your resolution; put action benchmarks in your planner, so you can check in throughout the year. When you write something down, it becomes more real to you. Writing something is a deliberate act, and little more mindful than just saying something out loud. You can also make a “dream board” with pictures of your achieved goals, to help motivate you.

6. Get some accountability! Got a buddy with the same resolution? Check in with each other! This works particularly well if you want to learn a new skill (take a class together, practice together) or do something like lose weight (gym buddies) or stop smoking (support group).

Always remember, you don’t have to wait until January 1 to get started on a new resolution. There are new years starting every day! Some notable new years include Chinese New Year (lunar new year), which is on February 14, 2010; several cultures celebrate new year on the vernal equinox. There is also Rosh Hashanah (Jewish new year), Samhain (Celtic new year), and of course, your own birthday.

Anyone want to share their resolutions in the comments? I’m always intrigued! In the interest of full disclosure, I’ll share three of mine.

1. I resolve to work hard on my business so that my average monthly income doubles.

2. I resolve to work on and complete at least one monk’s cloth embroidery project.

3. I resolve to cook a real meal every other week (husband agreed to do the same!).

Resistance and Being Right

Dec 9

Posted by Laura in Coaching, change, openness, reality TV, resistance, right | No Comments

I’ve been thinking for a while of having an occasional series here on my blog, loosely titled “Things I Have Learned Watching Reality TV.” I do watch reality TV, and I like the good stuff–a lot of business shows (early Apprentice, some Dragon’s Den, etc.), cooking shows (Hell’s Kitchen, Top Chef, Chef Academy), and creative competitions (Project Runway, Launch My Line, even America’s Next Top Model). (Okay, I’ll admit to the rapturous schadenfreude of watching America’s Funniest Home Injuries Videos, from which I’ve learned quite a litany of useful things: avoid trampolines, never dance on tables, porch swings are trouble, stay away from pinatas, and so on.)

One of my most recent favorite shows is on Bravo, and it’s called Tabatha’s Salon Takeover. It’s a bit like Kitchen Nightmares, except for hair salons. The extremely talented stylist and businesswoman Tabatha Coffey (always sleek in black, ice blonde hair, clipped Australian accent) comes in and takes over for a week. There are staff meetings, discussions, assessments of skills, renovations, and usually some tears and resistance. Most of the time, her changes make a real difference in the salon, as evidenced when she returns about six weeks after to see how things are going.

Last night’s episode involved a salon owner in Florida, who absolutely hated her staff (spied on them, harassed them, and so on). She expected them to fail, and only had negative things to say consistently. She brought in Tabatha just to have someone take her side. When Tabatha didn’t buy it, the owner flat-out refused to change. In fact, she reversed much of the renovation and all the other changes that Tabatha made. Her staff were miserable. The owner herself was miserable–yet somehow delighted that she hadn’t changed at all. She was convinced she was “right” and wouldn’t hear of anything to the contrary.

I felt so sad for this woman. She has become toxic in her own business, toxic to her employees, and toxic to herself. She had a rigid view of her situation and was not interested in any other viewpoints. She wanted easy answers and someone to confirm her paranoia. People like her may say they “want” a coach or a consultant, but they really don’t. They want to be right, and they want that validated.

Not long ago, I was challenged by another coach to let go of being “right” in a situation that had really irked me. I knew I was right, and I kept protesting that fact. It was painful to be challenged on it–and absolutely what I needed to hear. I struggled with it. I asked myself: “If I let go of being right, what more can I become? Can I become larger than this issue?” It was an eye-opening process. It helped me let go of being right (with difficulty), so that I became more. What resulted was a whole new path out of the situation that ultimately ended up serving everyone involved.

Where can we let go of being right? What might that lead to in our lives?

>My path

Sep 2

Posted by Laura in Coaching, Path | No Comments

>

I was recently asked to come up with a blog entry for an alliance I’m part of (Surve), and I thought I’d cross-post it here. This is a bit about my path to becoming a coach.

My path to coaching was rather roundabout. I have an established career as a professional book copyeditor, and for a while I had my own direct sales business as well. After a particularly grueling quarter, I was exhausted and extremely frustrated. I felt like I was doing the same old thing over and over! I started thinking about what I really wanted, and I began to realize that I wanted my work to make a difference in the world, to really have an impact in people’s lives. I was getting tempting little tastes of it, and I decided to ramp that up! The only problem was, I wasn’t sure what path would allow me to do that. Should I find a job somewhere? Go back to school? Try something different? At that point “keep doing what I’m doing” was not an attractive option!

Luckily, I attended the national conference for my sales company and met a wonderful trainer. I was so struck by her enthusiasm and creative ideas that I made a point of going up to her and asking point-blank if there was any way I could work for her! She said, “I need coaches with your experience.” Ding ding ding! The more I thought over this option, the more appealing it was. I could use my strong communication skills (written and oral), combine them with my desire to work with people, and really help clients transform their lives for the better!

I’m very glad that my new mentor insisted that I (along with three other women who wanted to work for her) take an ICF-accredited coach training course through Erickson College. Through this course, I learned the foundation of what true coaching is: supporting the client to unlock his or her own genius! The class gave me powerful tools to help my clients tap their inner strengths and resourcefulness, plus exercises for helping people get unstuck. I learned coaching as based on the core principles of the International Core Federation; I am a member of the ICF and abide by their Code of Ethics. I’ve continued my training as well and am now certified in team coaching. I’ve been able to work as a coach for just over two years, and I’m incredibly honored to support my clients. I take joy in watching them make changes, leading to an even greater transformation.

>My path

Sep 2

Posted by Laura in Coaching, Path | No Comments

>

I was recently asked to come up with a blog entry for an alliance I’m part of (Surve), and I thought I’d cross-post it here. This is a bit about my path to becoming a coach.

My path to coaching was rather roundabout. I have an established career as a professional book copyeditor, and for a while I had my own direct sales business as well. After a particularly grueling quarter, I was exhausted and extremely frustrated. I felt like I was doing the same old thing over and over! I started thinking about what I really wanted, and I began to realize that I wanted my work to make a difference in the world, to really have an impact in people’s lives. I was getting tempting little tastes of it, and I decided to ramp that up! The only problem was, I wasn’t sure what path would allow me to do that. Should I find a job somewhere? Go back to school? Try something different? At that point “keep doing what I’m doing” was not an attractive option!

Luckily, I attended the national conference for my sales company and met a wonderful trainer. I was so struck by her enthusiasm and creative ideas that I made a point of going up to her and asking point-blank if there was any way I could work for her! She said, “I need coaches with your experience.” Ding ding ding! The more I thought over this option, the more appealing it was. I could use my strong communication skills (written and oral), combine them with my desire to work with people, and really help clients transform their lives for the better!

I’m very glad that my new mentor insisted that I (along with three other women who wanted to work for her) take an ICF-accredited coach training course through Erickson College. Through this course, I learned the foundation of what true coaching is: supporting the client to unlock his or her own genius! The class gave me powerful tools to help my clients tap their inner strengths and resourcefulness, plus exercises for helping people get unstuck. I learned coaching as based on the core principles of the International Core Federation; I am a member of the ICF and abide by their Code of Ethics. I’ve continued my training as well and am now certified in team coaching. I’ve been able to work as a coach for just over two years, and I’m incredibly honored to support my clients. I take joy in watching them make changes, leading to an even greater transformation.