Day 2: What Does a Coach Do?

How does a coach go about supporting clients in creating what they want? There are many techniques, approaches, tools, and exercises available for coaches. Today I’m going to discuss in broad terms how a coach might go about helping a client achieve his or her goals.

A relationship between coach and client, first and foremost, is focused on the client. A person comes to a coach with a goal in mind–something to achieve, create, or change. The coach honors that goal and helps the client keep it in mind as they drill down to specific action steps together. The coach holds an objective viewpoint (as objective as possible, this is often called “coach position”) to help the client see a bigger picture and rise above distractions. The coach holds the client accountable for his or her commitments.

In a coaching relationship (lasting anywhere from a few sessions to more long-term work), the coach is responsible for the following:

• Asking powerful questions that elicit the client’s inner resourcefulness
• Keeping the client focused on the big, overall goals
• Providing a safe, creative space where the client’s creativity can come forth
• Respecting and honoring clients’ views of the world—they are the experts in their lives
• Helping clients see the bigger, broader connections of their choices, changes, and growth
• Encouraging the client to dream
• Maintaining a clean “coach position” and not offering opinions, judgment, analysis, or advice
• Communicating clearly and directly
• Holding clients accountable as they request

A single coaching session is essentially a powerful conversation. Whether it is held over the phone or in person (or virtually), a coaching session creates a space and time in which the client can be focused on his or her goals, creativity can flow, and new options are explored. Thinking and beliefs can be examined, changed, and boosted. A coaching session can be a welcome “oasis” for a client, who may be so busy with day-to-day tasks and activities that an hour to focus on the future and desired goals helps him or her create true momentum for change and transformation.

In a coaching session, the coach might do any or all of the following:

• Step into coach position, and listen powerfully to questions asked
• Match the client’s energy, body language, vocal tone
• Check in to see how things went with the client’s action items from the previous session
• Ask what the goal for the session is and be sure it is clearly stated and measurable
• Inquire about how achieving that goal will help things change for the client, asking whether it is compatible with the overall goal and life values of the client (connecting to big picture).
• Invite the client to brainstorm on how he or she might go about making that change or reaching that goal
• Offer exercises, tools, and techniques that could help a client get “unstuck” or tap into deeper resources (it is the client’s choice whether to make use of these tools)
• Keep the client focused on him- or herself and on the future
• Help the client choose among potential action items to develop a plan to implement
• Ask how the client will remain committed to the action plan and how he or she wants the coach to follow up

A trained and experienced coach has many other tools to offer clients in a session or across a working relationship. The description here is very broad!

Tomorrow: The Education of a Coach

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I have been self-employed for nearly 14 years, running a variety of businesses over that time. One thing I have noticed is that work seems to come in waves. Sometimes I’ll have tsunami of projects, other times just a trickle. I know I’m not alone in this. It can often be feast or famine. So what can you do to build your business if you don’t actually have billable work in hand? Plenty, it turns out! Over the years, I’ve learned to look at “downtime” as a gift to take advantage of. Check out the following ideas.

5. Learn something. Downtime, even just a few hours, is a terrific time to break out those CDs or MP3s you picked up at a conference or online but haven’t listened to yet, find some books and online training, or read that pile of magazines. It’s important to stay current in your field. You’ll have the time–so open up your mind, and get ready to learn some fabulous new techniques and ideas! Load up your e-reader or your iPod, or go to the library. If you don’t have a pile of stuff waiting for you, go online to professional associations related to your business.

Bonus tip: When reading, have a notebook handy. If you get inspired by an idea, you can write it down, with reference to where you read it. Then you have a “hot list” of ideas and thoughts that you can refer to without flipping through a pile of material trying to find it again. This can be quite useful when you’re searching for blog, article, or speech topics (see tip 7). Alternatively, keep some sticky-note flags available so you can highlight key ideas in a book or magazine.

6. Update your online presence. You may well have a daily or weekly practice of time set aside to maintaining your Facebook Fan page (or personal page), LinkedIn, Twitter, any Ning networks you are a member of, and your website, among others. Downtime is a great opportunity to make major updates and changes. LinkedIn particularly is constantly adding new features; take a little time to create a company profile, update your personal profile, find some new groups to join, and ask and answer questions. Write those new pages for your website like you have been thinking about, update your profiles on other sites, add more content where you can.

Bonus tips: With a tool like HootSuite, you can write a bunch of status updates and tweets and schedule them to go out in the future, instead of all at once. If you use WordPress for your website, you can “draft” pages before publishing them, giving you time to work them through carefully and thoughtfully.

7. Get writing. Write some blog posts, newsletters, articles, speeches, even books. When you make your expertise available, you establish yourself as an authority in your subject and offer valuable content to potential customers and clients. Downtime is a great opportunity to let your creative juices flow. Many blogging platforms allow you to schedule the release of your blog posts in advance (one colleague of mine has a year’s worth of weekly posts already scheduled!). You can easily turn blog posts into articles and publish those on your site (or at a site like ezinearticles.com) or submit them to relevant publications. If you have a regular newsletter, you can start prepping future issues to save you time. Finally, you can turn blog posts and articles into speaking presentations (if you have the communication skills), which is a terrific way to build your business. If you have several blog posts, articles, or presentations on a related topic, you have the bulk of a book (or ebook) written.

Bonus tip: Many social media platforms will link to your blog so that when you publish a new post, it is automatically imported to that platform.

8. Renew connections and make new ones. Business downtime is a great time reestablish your professional connections and make new ones. Have lunch, coffee, or meet up with your colleagues and strategic partners. Go through that pile of business cards and connect online (with social media) and in person. Follow up with potential opportunities by calling, sending a hand-written card, or connecting in another way. Find some networking groups to visit and meet new folks.

Bonus tip: Whenever you receive a new business card from a connection, write a note on the back–where and when you met, any key conversation tips you had, when to follow up, or whatever you need to remember the person by more than just a card!

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1. First, and most important: Take time off. Especially during holidays, it’s time for you to visit with family and friends, too! Recharge your batteries, enjoy your life, and take some time for yourself. This is important for staving off burnout. Remind yourself that one of the points of your own business is working (and thus, not working) when you choose. A little R&R can be just the mental and physical refresher you need to come back with renewed energy and vigor. It’s not a crime to spend a day goofing off, especially if you have the time in your schedule.

2. Clean and organize. Did your work space get cluttered up? Receipts lying everywhere? Left the filing until you “had a moment?” Now is your chance! Clean and organize your office space and come back to work with a fresh slate! Purge your email inbox, clean up your hard drive, catch up on the filing. Hang that artwork, vacuum, dust, take out the trash and recycling, create a supportive space for your work.
Bonus tip: Have you been considering implementing a new system for filing, accounting, a database, contacts, or other business process, or perhaps creating forms that might support your business? Devoting time to setting these up carefully and thoughtfully is a great use of downtime.

3. Paperwork. Get caught up or even ahead of yourself. Need to update files? Transfer handwritten notes to disk? Catch up on Quickbooks or online banking? Update log files? It’s never too late to get caught up or get a jump-start on the year-end paperwork you might need.
Especially important: Start inputting everything you need to generate some current financial information. Getting your paperwork up to date now saves you tons of time and frustration when taxes are due.
Bonus tip: If you get an accurate picture of your business finances, you’ll immediately see where you can make more money, where you can cut expenses, and more opportunities for growth. Don’t wait until the end of the year for this!

4. Set some goals. If you have updated your paperwork (especially finances), you probably have a good picture of what the last year, quarter, or month in your business looked like. Now is a good time to set more yearly, quarterly, and monthly goals for you and your business. Stretch a little! Write the new goals down, so you can track how well you do. Don’t wait until the end of the calendar year to set goals–do it now!

Next up: Four more tips!

What do you do for your business when you have downtime?

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On Hell’s Kitchen, the teams of chefs are usually given a short challenge at the beginning of the episode. One team wins, and the other team loses. Unlike most other reality shows, Chef Gordon Ramsay not only rewards the winners but also punishes the losers, usually with a menial task such as cleaning the restaurant or peeling a thousand pounds of potatoes. On most reality shows, “losers” might whine and pout about not winning (some end up holding a grudge about it). On Hell’s Kitchen, the “losers” gripe, complain, moan, blame each other for losing, and sometimes refuse to work. You often hear the phrase “I am not here to clean! I am a chef!” or even “I have people to do this!” I get the very clear impression that these chefs, as talented and skilled as they are, truly feel they are “above” the tasks they are asked to do. (One chef even dodges doing kitchen prep work, saying that Ramsay is not looking for a great prep chef.)

I sometimes just want to shake these contestants and say, “You can’t win every time! Where’s your humility? Take your lumps, handle it with grace, and grow from this experience!” The tasks they are given, while not always related to cooking, do relate to what is involved with running a restaurant, which is the ultimate reward the winner will be given. Having respect for what the maitre d’ and the wait staff and cleaning crew do is critical to building a good team for a successful restaurant.

These thoughts were oddly brought into focus at a high school reunion I attended recently (my husband’s class; we graduated from the same school). At the magnet high school we attended, a graduation requirement was to work three hours every week, unpaid, at the school. Incoming students were required to spend a semester working those hours either in the cafeteria or on the grounds. Let me tell you, this kind of work will teach you that you are not “above” anything. It will teach you respect for the people who do these jobs all day long, and not just for a measly three hours a week.

We all learn from failure, punishment, and situations in which we don’t get what we want. As a coach, my job is to help people get what they want (as long as it is within their control!), but as a human being, I know it simply isn’t possible 100% of the time, especially if one is in direct competition with another. So I encourage others (and myself!) to see where the growth opportunities are, even if you “lose.” Suddenly, losing isn’t so bad.

What have you learned from losing? Who have you become because of it?

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I’ll give a personal example. For a long time, I’ve held space in my heart and in my dreams for motherhood. In talking with my husband about having a child, he asked a great question: “How will we have a kid when we’re so busy as it is? How will we fit it in?” I realized then that something that large and life-changing doesn’t just get “penciled in” to our existing life. We must create space for it, giving up certain things and changing others so that we might be healthy, whole, and ready.

So I began paring down my responsibilities, specifically by deciding not to step up for officer roles in various professional organizations I belong to. I did some reading about fertility, learned how to chart, started taking prenatal vitamins, and tried to eat better and exercise more. I had some appointments with my doctors to deal with various issues I was concerned with. I put some money in a savings account to use during maternity leave.

I’m going through a similar process of making choices with my business right now. I am evaluating my commitments and side projects, winnowing some down so I can focus on my core interests and my best work. It’s a little bittersweet at times, saying goodbye to something that was fun but no longer moves me in the direction I want to go. But it opens new doors of opportunity, and that’s quite exciting to me!

I’ve blogged before about setting a goal and making sure it is SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and timed). Coaching is a way to help people set goals, figure out a plan, and track toward achieving it. Making space is a critical step that might get overlooked by some. We can’t keep cramming our lives full of stuff to do without occasionally weeding some things out and changing others.

What do you do to make space? What do you make space for?

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So here it is: Life Coach: Should You Hire One?

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I have been stagnating in a few areas of my life and not stepping up to the plate with my true potential. I’ve been playing it safe, going with “good enough,” and making a lot excuses for not going bigger. I dug a comfortable little hidey hole in my complacency and fear. I have allowed certain beliefs and thoughts to hold me back.

The experience of new training and new thinking challenged me in these areas. It was really uncomfortable, and I felt a lot of resistance at first–which means that is precisely where I need to grow. Once I realized that I was playing small, it became more and more evident to me based on some feelings (and actions) I have had lately.

Now I’m completely energized and excited about the next phase of my life game.

So I hereby make this promise: I promise to play bigger. For myself, for my clients, for the world.

How will you show up for a bigger game in your life?

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Virtual assistants can do all kinds of support work for a businessperson. Without getting into too much detail, they can offer administrative support, some Web work, design, event planning, phone calls, documentation, you name it. I found my VA through a local networking group, and we signed a contract by which she provides me 4 hours of her services each month. How I ask her to use the time is up to me. So far, I have had her work on both of my Web sites (which were recently relaunched in WordPress), design promotional flyers for and assist with some training events, optimize my profile on some business networking sites, make phone calls and perform some research, and create a PowerPoint presentation from some extremely raw text. I plan to have her help me with a newsletter, more slide presentations, and some marketing tasks in the future!

What surprised me in the process of making use of this support is how much it helped me grow! The lessons ran deeper than I could have imagined (and are still revealing themselves to me). Here are some of them.

• I was pushed (in a good way) to let go of something and trust another person to handle it. I’ve been self-employed for 14 years, and because I’ve always had to handle everything, it’s fair to say I became a bit of a control freak. I’m so used to handling it all–it was a challenge to let something go. When I was able to do so, a lot of new, exciting opportunities for my time and energy opened up!
• I became more engaged in my best work. Because I now have support around the details and busy-work of my company, I have more of my brain power and heart invested in the actual work–that of coaching. I no longer have to fret over details because I have a trusted person to handle them for me. I can truly focus on serving my clients.
• I opened the door to more profitability. I was shocked when I realized that my VA could spend 1 hour on something that would take me 4 or more hours (and a lot of frustration) to get done. I can use those 4 hours to do billable work! Also, because she can support me with excellent work, I’ve accelerated my plans on a lot of my business-building ideas, which will bring more clients to me.
• I began to see more possibilities in my business. As I was challenged to come up with tasks for my VA (she works so fast!), I started to see a lot more opportunities for myself and my business. Currently, she is developing a slide presentation for me from very raw text and images. This will be published on SlideShare and available for free to anyone who is interested. Before I met my VA, I doubt I ever would have considered this. I don’t like slides, and I don’t know how to use PowerPoint well, and it would have perpetually been put on the back burner. Now it’s happening! More creative ideas are coming to me all the time, and I’m energized to attack them.
• I started thinking like a bigger company. Suddenly, I have “people.” I can take on bigger projects, bigger commitments because I have support in other areas. I feel more professional. I’ve widened my playing field. This has opened up even more opportunities, and I find I’m incredibly excited and engaged with my business all over again!

Obviously, I recommend a good VA if you need or want some support in your business. As you think about the cost of hiring someone, weight it against the immediate benefits of getting things done, and remember to think about the bigger picture advantages!

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Valentine’s Day is the feast day of Saint Valentine. Not much is known about Valentine, except that he was martyred in the third century. He is the patron saint of engaged couples, happy marriages, love, lovers, and young people (among other things). He is represented in pictures with birds and roses.

Somehow, the observation of a saint’s feast day has turned into a marketing whirlwind of products. They start to appear immediately after Christmas–whole aisles of things that are heart-shaped, red and pink, and cutesy-poo (sometimes nauseatingly so). Much like the commercialization of Christmas, Valentine’s Day has been seized by marketers as a way to ram more needless “stuff” down our throats. I’ve seen people (men, mostly) coming out of shops on V-day with armloads of flowers, chocolate, balloons, and stuffed animals. It makes me a little ill, frankly. I can’t imagine demanding that of someone. You don’t really need that stuff to show someone how much you love them.

So the challenge becomes how to celebrate love in a meaningful, heartfelt, and thoughtful way. My husband and I made a pact to just do something together. Some years that means we hand-make Valentine cards, sometimes we cook a nice romantic dinner and eat it by candlelight, sometimes we cuddle on the couch and watch a good movie, other times we head to art museum to get some culture.

I am truly curious to hear some great ideas from my loyal readers. How do you show your love in a way that’s meaningful to you? What Valentine’s Days past do you treasure in your heart?

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I have reveled in this break from the busy-ness of everyday life. My calendar was mostly cleared of appointments–the two remaining ones have been rescheduled. I had lots of work to do here at home, plus some cleaning projects, a full TiVo, and a stack of books to read. I haven’t been bored at all, nor have I had cabin fever (I credit that to many, many snow days with no TV when I was growing up). I welcome the opportunity to slow down for a few days. It’s a rare luxury.

Think of Henry David Thoreau, who isolated himself from mainstream society for over two years at Walden Pond. (He still received visitors and made visits himself; he didn’t live as a hermit.) His time there inspired his classic masterpiece, Walden, which covers his thoughts on self-reliance and simple living.

When we’re given a chance to slow down a bit, what can we do? What creativity comes forth? What do you notice about your regular life when you’re offered a respite from it?

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