Archer Coaching

Coaching you on your path to joyful abundance.

Archive for category difference

Ten Things a Coach Can Do for You

May 26

Posted by Laura in change, choice, clarity, Coaching, difference, Goals, momentum, motivation, relationship | 1 Comment

Ten things a coach can do for you that your best friend might not!

A guest post from Stephanie McDilda of Roving Coach International.

1. Focus on you. Have you ever noticed how just when you need to talk about a problem or an issue, your friend wants to chime in with their story? “Well if you think that’s bad, let me tell you what happened to me!” A coach will focus on you and your story, sharing examples only if they help you learn and grow.

2. Listen professionally. A good coach is a trained professional listener. They hear what you are saying and help you listen to yourself.

3. Be honest with you! “But my friends are all honest with me . . . aren’t they?” Sometimes the people who are closest to you may want to avoid hurting you. They may fear losing your friendship. And frankly, because they like you so much, they may see only your good points.

4. Be objective. When it comes to your personal and professional life, your friends are far from neutral. If you are considering a career change that may move you across the country, it will be hard for your best friend to be impartial as they help you decide.

5. Avoid commiserating. It’s nice to have someone to dump on when you’re down or have had a hard day. A coach will be there in the bad times as well as the good. A coach, however, knows when and how to gently push you out of your pity party and into positive action.

6. Move you to action. Like your best friend, your coach wants to hear your dreams and goals. It is the rare best friend that will guide you toward a plan and concrete “do-able” actions. Coaching without action is just a pleasant conversation.

7. Develop a structured relationship with purpose. While meeting with your coach will be fun, there is a definite purpose for your getting together. That purpose may be to help you solve a problem, or reach a goal, or pursue your dream. Whatever you are seeking, your coach will work to keep you focused and moving forward.

8. Hold you accountable. A coach is not a parent. Your coach will work with you as an adult, expecting you to keep commitments and take action. Many people move forward successfully just from knowing that they have made a verbal commitment to another person.

9. Avoid judgment. You coach will be unconditionally supportive. They will be your cheerleader when you succeed and a gentle encourager when you fall down.

10. Celebrate your success. With luck, all of your friends will be happy, excited and proud of your success. Unfortunately, however, even those people who care for you may occasionally feel threatened or jealous of your accomplishments. Your coach will always rejoice in your triumphs!

 

 

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My Path to Coaching and My Approach

Feb 11

Posted by Laura in Appreciation, balance, business, change, clarity, Coaching, Coaching Week, Communications, difference, Dreaming, education, experience, Making an impact, Path, Purpose | No Comments

In honor of International Coaching Week, February 6 through 12, I am posting a series of short articles about coaching.

Day 6: My Path to Coaching and My Approach

My path to becoming a coach was rather roundabout. I have an established career as a professional book copy editor, and for a while I had my own direct sales business as well. After a particularly grueling quarter with some difficult projects and a lot of extra work, I was exhausted and extremely frustrated. I felt like I was doing the same old thing over and over! I started thinking about what I really wanted, and I began to realize that I wanted my work to make a difference in the world and have an impact in people’s lives. I was getting tempting little tastes of it here and there, and I decided to ramp that up! The only problem was, I wasn’t sure what path would allow me to do that. Should I find a job somewhere? Go back to school? Try something entirely different? At that point “keep doing what I’m doing” was not an attractive option!

In what turned out to be a life-changing meeting, I attended the national conference for my sales company and met a wonderful trainer. I was struck by her enthusiasm and creative ideas, so I made a point of going up to her and asking point-blank if there was any way I could work for her! She said, “I need coaches with your sales experience” (to coach other direct sellers). Ding ding ding! The more I thought over this option, the more appealing it became. I could use my communication skills, combine them with my desire to work with people, and really help clients transform their lives for the better!

My new mentor insisted I take an ICF-accredited coach training course, and I’m so glad I did! I learned the foundation of true coaching: supporting the client to unlock his or her own genius! I’ve been able to work as a coach since 2007, and immediately loved it. In 2008 I started Archer Coaching, my own coaching practice, for working with professionals to create a meaningful career and a balanced life. In 2010, I earned my Associate Certified Coach credential from the International Coach Federation and began working with Roving Coach to offer coaching in corporations.

My approach to coaching is simple: I believe the client is whole, resourceful, and wise. My job is to help unleash a client’s inner genius by asking the right questions, providing a new viewpoint, and supporting him or her on the path to achievement. I am constantly amazed at what people can create, and how they make things happen in their lives. It’s an honor and a privilege to be a part of that. Coaching as a career is an excellent fit for my natural enthusiasm, optimism, curiosity, and desire to learn.

Tomorrow: What Does Archer Coaching Offer?

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What Is Coaching?

Feb 6

Posted by Laura in balance, choice, clarity, Coaching, Coaching Week, definition, difference, Goals, Mindfulness, planning, relationship | 1 Comment

In honor of International Coaching Week, February 6 through 12, I am posting a series of short articles about coaching.

Day 1: What Is Coaching?
A lot of people aren’t really sure what coaching is (and isn’t). Coaching is a relatively new (and still developing) field, and as such, a clear definition is sometimes elusive. Some seem to think that people come to a coach with their problems and then are told what to do, much as a mentor relationship works. Others tend to think of a coach as a sort of therapist.

For the clearest, simplest definition of coaching I’ve found, I quote the International Coach Federation: “Coaching is partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.”

Coaching is focused on working with clients to help them create what they want–a compelling vision, an action plan, commitment, and achievement! A coach honors the client as the expert in his or her own life and elicits creativity and resourcefulness, without offering a set path of “what to do.”

As a coach, I support my clients by listening, questioning, observing, eliciting solutions, and holding them accountable to action steps. I do not offer advice but help a client find her or her own path to sustainable change. I step into clients’ perspectives and help them move forward to achieve their goals and transform their lives, while also reminding them to look at the big picture, beyond the immediate effects of their choices and actions. I have a variety of tools and exercises that can help clients tap their potential and move forward toward achieving their dreams.

I am frequently asked about the difference between coaching and therapy or counseling. A lot of people think that coaching is very similar to therapy or counseling, and many counselors and therapists are adding coaching skills to support their clients. There is a primary difference, though, and here it is: Coaching always looks forward, to the future, to getting what the client wants. Therapy and counseling frequently look backward, to what went wrong in the past, to analysis.

As a coach, I believe my clients are whole, absolutely all right, and already have all the resources they need to succeed. My job is to help them unlock their genius. It’s not about “fixing” problems, or blaming and shaming, it’s about moving forward to create a powerful future. A client in crisis (say, with a serious mental health issue such as bipolar disorder) may not benefit from coaching if it is applied to the issue. I am the first to say that I cannot help someone in crisis, and I do refer them to other professionals, as appropriate. However, someone with a mental health issue may still benefit from coaching if it is applied to other areas of his or her life.

Counseling and therapy tend to look more at what is not whole, what might be broken, or what is in crisis (I admit these are very broad generalizations). Coaching is a powerful method for getting what you want, but it is no replacement for therapy or counseling when these are needed.

Tomorrow: What Does a Coach Do?

For more about coaching, see the ICF.

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Balanced by Relationships

May 24

Posted by Laura in Appreciation, balance, blessing, choice, difference, joy, love, openness, relationship, Uncategorized | No Comments

I have blogged about life balance before, and I give presentations on that topic as well. I also spend time thinking about how my relationships with various people provide a supportive balance to me as a person.

Most of my friends have heard me wax poetic about how my darling husband is very different from me — in a way that I appreciate, because I feel it makes us a good team. He’s very relaxed and laid-back and thinks in terms of the big picture. I’m assertive, a go-getter, and detail-oriented. He lives in the moment, I tend to pace toward the future. He tends to think things through very carefully, sometimes taking a long time to make a decision. I tend to be rather impulsive and impatient! We have been together 15 years now, and I have come to love these differences. Just by being himself, he helps me relax and enjoy things as they are. We have many things in common, but the differences keep it interesting. I started to respect, honor, and cherish our differences when I went through coach training and began to perceive things differently.

My sister is another case in point. We are only 14 months apart in age, and we couldn’t be more different. We inverted most of the standard older child/younger child dynamics (she’s younger, but was much bolder than I was). We have dealt with common issues in our family, of course, but beyond that we are extremely different. We fought like cats and dogs growing up, of course, and we could never live in the same house again without maiming each other (if the last time we tried that is any indication). Over the years, I have come to truly value our differences, as she gives me a totally unique perspective on things. If we had met as strangers, I don’t know if we would have become friends — the differences would have made it seem as if we had nothing in common. As sisters, our relationship is all over the place, in a good way! We are starting to discover the things that we do have in common now.

My book group, of which I have been a member for 15 years, is another great example. We have a wide range of women in the group — some are mothers, some are grandmothers, some have never had kids. We have marrieds, divorceds, and never marrieds. Some young, some older, some in between. A variety of hobbies and careers are represented. The discussion is always lively. Heated disagreements, loud laughter, and a lot of thinking and interpreting. It’s a monthly discussion that really challenges and stimulates me because of all the differences in perception.

Enough about me! What relationships balance you? Whom do you love because of (not in spite of) your differences?

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