Day 6: My Path to Coaching and My Approach

My path to becoming a coach was rather roundabout. I have an established career as a professional book copy editor, and for a while I had my own direct sales business as well. After a particularly grueling quarter with some difficult projects and a lot of extra work, I was exhausted and extremely frustrated. I felt like I was doing the same old thing over and over! I started thinking about what I really wanted, and I began to realize that I wanted my work to make a difference in the world and have an impact in people’s lives. I was getting tempting little tastes of it here and there, and I decided to ramp that up! The only problem was, I wasn’t sure what path would allow me to do that. Should I find a job somewhere? Go back to school? Try something entirely different? At that point “keep doing what I’m doing” was not an attractive option!

In what turned out to be a life-changing meeting, I attended the national conference for my sales company and met a wonderful trainer. I was struck by her enthusiasm and creative ideas, so I made a point of going up to her and asking point-blank if there was any way I could work for her! She said, “I need coaches with your sales experience” (to coach other direct sellers). Ding ding ding! The more I thought over this option, the more appealing it became. I could use my communication skills, combine them with my desire to work with people, and really help clients transform their lives for the better!

My new mentor insisted I take an ICF-accredited coach training course, and I’m so glad I did! I learned the foundation of true coaching: supporting the client to unlock his or her own genius! I’ve been able to work as a coach since 2007, and immediately loved it. In 2008 I started Archer Coaching, my own coaching practice, for working with professionals to create a meaningful career and a balanced life. In 2010, I earned my Associate Certified Coach credential from the International Coach Federation and began working with Roving Coach to offer coaching in corporations.

My approach to coaching is simple: I believe the client is whole, resourceful, and wise. My job is to help unleash a client’s inner genius by asking the right questions, providing a new viewpoint, and supporting him or her on the path to achievement. I am constantly amazed at what people can create, and how they make things happen in their lives. It’s an honor and a privilege to be a part of that. Coaching as a career is an excellent fit for my natural enthusiasm, optimism, curiosity, and desire to learn.

Tomorrow: What Does Archer Coaching Offer?

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Day 5: Are You Coachable?

One of the first things I learned in my coach training is to work with the willing. Not everyone wants or is ready for coaching. Those who want coaching might not be very coachable. The people who get the most out of coaching have a certain set of characteristics. If you’re interested in coaching, ask yourself the following questions to find out if you would truly benefit (coachable people will answer “yes” to most or all).

Do you have a compelling vision and a clear goal?

Do you know what you want? If you aren’t sure what you want, it is difficult (or impossible) to create it. There’s only so far you can go before you’ll get stuck. If you have a vague idea, spend some time crafting your vision of how you want things to be. When you have a clearer picture, you will be ready for coaching. If all you can think is “I just want it to be different than it is now!” or “I don’t want this!” then definitely spend some time imagining what “different” might look like and how you do want things to be! Coachable people have a specific, positive goal or vision in mind, from a short-term project to a big picture.

Are you future-oriented?

Coachable people are ready to move forward. They may learn from the past and take lessons from the present, but they do not allow themselves to wallow in the existing story. They aren’t so much trying to figure out why things went wrong or how they got here as they are trying to build a new future.

Are you open to change and growth–quite possibly beyond your comfort zone?

Coaching is about creating change. Getting what you want and crafting the life you envision requires change, sometimes quite a lot of it. Change leads to growth; growth leads to transformation. Change can be scary. You must be open to it to benefit from coaching. If you aren’t truly interested in change, then coaching isn’t for you.

Are you open to honest feedback?

Can you learn and grow from feedback? In the process of coaching, you’ll get honest feedback, sometimes from the coach, sometimes from other people, and often from yourself as you plunge the depths of your own knowledge and wisdom. Criticism stings (and we can be very hard on ourselves), but constructive feedback can shape your path in a positive way. Can you handle feedback, accept it, and move forward in wisdom?

Are you ready to work?

Coaching can open doors, create opportunities, and help you chart your path. No one can walk that path but you, and it requires taking action. The work may be spiritual, mental, emotional, physical, or all of these things. If you are passive and expect change to come to you, then you won’t get much out of coaching. If you expect that the mere fact that you are being coached will change everything, you will be disappointed. If you don’t put in the effort, you won’t see the reward. You should be ready for change, and you should be ready to make it happen.

Are you focused on something within your control?

A key to coaching is to be sure that you are focused on something within your control to do something about. You cannot change things like time, the laws of physics, and other people. People waste a lot of energy trying to change or influence things they can’t control (for instance, how someone else treats them). If you focus on yourself and your own thoughts, feelings, and actions, you will be able to make real change in a significant way. Through coaching and vision work, you can then imagine and notice how your individual changes might have ripple effects in those around you and the world at large.

Are you ready to invest time, energy, and money in coaching to get results?

Creating the future you want takes effort and work. It also takes time, thought, energy, and, yes, money. Coaching can be a valuable tool to help you get what you want, but it will only work if you feel your goals are worth the investment. Studies are showing that the return on investment for coaching (in business) is three to seven times the dollar amount spent. Instead of looking at coaching as an added cost burden or luxury expense (as many do), look at your goals and your life and ask this: “Am I worth it?” Coaching is an investment in yourself.

You may not be a good candidate for coaching if one or more of the following is true for you.

• You’re looking for a quick fix or easy answers
• You just want to complain or get validation for what you’re already doing (even if you’re taking no action at all)
• You tend to avoid taking responsibility (“It’s not my fault!”), pointing a finger of blame at other people and things
• You don’t really want to change
• You’re focused on things that aren’t within your control (other people’s behavior and actions)

If you’re willing to let go of these things, you might be ready for coaching.

Tomorrow: Laura’s Path to Coaching and Her Approach

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Day 2: What Does a Coach Do?

How does a coach go about supporting clients in creating what they want? There are many techniques, approaches, tools, and exercises available for coaches. Today I’m going to discuss in broad terms how a coach might go about helping a client achieve his or her goals.

A relationship between coach and client, first and foremost, is focused on the client. A person comes to a coach with a goal in mind–something to achieve, create, or change. The coach honors that goal and helps the client keep it in mind as they drill down to specific action steps together. The coach holds an objective viewpoint (as objective as possible, this is often called “coach position”) to help the client see a bigger picture and rise above distractions. The coach holds the client accountable for his or her commitments.

In a coaching relationship (lasting anywhere from a few sessions to more long-term work), the coach is responsible for the following:

• Asking powerful questions that elicit the client’s inner resourcefulness
• Keeping the client focused on the big, overall goals
• Providing a safe, creative space where the client’s creativity can come forth
• Respecting and honoring clients’ views of the world—they are the experts in their lives
• Helping clients see the bigger, broader connections of their choices, changes, and growth
• Encouraging the client to dream
• Maintaining a clean “coach position” and not offering opinions, judgment, analysis, or advice
• Communicating clearly and directly
• Holding clients accountable as they request

A single coaching session is essentially a powerful conversation. Whether it is held over the phone or in person (or virtually), a coaching session creates a space and time in which the client can be focused on his or her goals, creativity can flow, and new options are explored. Thinking and beliefs can be examined, changed, and boosted. A coaching session can be a welcome “oasis” for a client, who may be so busy with day-to-day tasks and activities that an hour to focus on the future and desired goals helps him or her create true momentum for change and transformation.

In a coaching session, the coach might do any or all of the following:

• Step into coach position, and listen powerfully to questions asked
• Match the client’s energy, body language, vocal tone
• Check in to see how things went with the client’s action items from the previous session
• Ask what the goal for the session is and be sure it is clearly stated and measurable
• Inquire about how achieving that goal will help things change for the client, asking whether it is compatible with the overall goal and life values of the client (connecting to big picture).
• Invite the client to brainstorm on how he or she might go about making that change or reaching that goal
• Offer exercises, tools, and techniques that could help a client get “unstuck” or tap into deeper resources (it is the client’s choice whether to make use of these tools)
• Keep the client focused on him- or herself and on the future
• Help the client choose among potential action items to develop a plan to implement
• Ask how the client will remain committed to the action plan and how he or she wants the coach to follow up

A trained and experienced coach has many other tools to offer clients in a session or across a working relationship. The description here is very broad!

Tomorrow: The Education of a Coach

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I’m a planner! I’ve always been fairly good at tracking steadily toward a future goal or event. I rather like handling details one at a time until something is completed. It’s satisfying! I have online and paper calendars, lists, and reminders for all my tasks; all my friends know I am extremely prompt and often early when meeting them.

Ten years ago, I married my husband, a wonderful man who is very much the opposite when it comes to time. He lives in the moment. He doesn’t use a planner (except for work), rarely makes a list (unless for groceries), frequently runs a few minutes late, and doesn’t wear a watch. For a while, I thought this would be a real problem between us, but it turns out to be great. We make a great team, and he’s an excellent reminder for me to slow down and enjoy.

I recently had an absolutely wonderful reminder of how to enjoy a moment and treasure it. I am 18 weeks pregnant with our first child (a daughter), something I have longed for and tried to make happen for several years now. A few weeks ago I decided to hit one of the massive local consignment sales for kid and baby stuff. Pregnant moms get in a day early to get best pick! I had a short list of things I was willing to buy, if I found them in good condition and at a good price.

I showed up, got my wrist band, and started browsing. I was very quickly overwhelmed with the amount of stuff that was there. I did see pretty much everything on my list, but I was reluctant to grab it and buy it. I took a break and sat on a bench to think. That’s when I realized: I’m not ready for this phase yet.

I have so enjoyed just being pregnant and enjoying my dreams for what the future will be like! I’ve had a fairly easy time of it so far (no sickness at all), and aside from cleaning out the house to make room for the child, I haven’t had to do any prep work yet (I haven’t registered yet). I realized at that moment on the bench that I wasn’t ready to let go of that phase. I’m nearly halfway through–we just found out the baby’s sex and I’m starting to feel her move around in there. The rest of this pregnancy will go so fast, and we’ll have to make lists of what we need, shop, plan, work… and there is still time for that. There’s no need for me to rush into it yet.

So I went home without buying anything, with a big smile on my face. I can’t think of when I’ve been happier.

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I have been stagnating in a few areas of my life and not stepping up to the plate with my true potential. I’ve been playing it safe, going with “good enough,” and making a lot excuses for not going bigger. I dug a comfortable little hidey hole in my complacency and fear. I have allowed certain beliefs and thoughts to hold me back.

The experience of new training and new thinking challenged me in these areas. It was really uncomfortable, and I felt a lot of resistance at first–which means that is precisely where I need to grow. Once I realized that I was playing small, it became more and more evident to me based on some feelings (and actions) I have had lately.

Now I’m completely energized and excited about the next phase of my life game.

So I hereby make this promise: I promise to play bigger. For myself, for my clients, for the world.

How will you show up for a bigger game in your life?

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