Archive for category experience

Unbalanced

As I write this, my four-week-old daughter is asleep, snug in her Baby Bjorn carrier, nestled against my chest. She is my first child, so I’m entering the world of parenthood like every other woman does: all at once, with a lot of panic and thoughts of “What the @#$!@#$ was I thinking?!” I tried not to make any set plans and to let go of my expectations before her birth, but I’m still a bit flummoxed by how much my life is changing.

 

In my coaching practice, one of the areas I frequently focus on with clients is life balance. It seems a tad ironic (or perhaps karmic) that my own life is so completely out of balance right now. But a wise colleague told me a story about Steven Covey. Apparently, Covey’s daughter called him in a panic after her child was born, and he told her that sometimes you are supposed to be utterly out of balance. Clearly, the trial-by-fire that is new parenthood is one of those times.

 

How do we cope with those massively out-of-balance times?

 

At the moment, I try to remember that I do not need to overcome this, I need to become something new (we are never overcoming, we are always becoming). I will not get back to the “way things used to be.” A change this large creates a new state of being. Adding the role of mother is an enormous shift in my identity, tasks, and self-image. That can’t be done overnight, obviously. I will co-create this role with my daughter–she will teach me how to be a mom to her. It also helps to remember that life balance is not a fixed state that one attains and then holds steady. I gave up some things (some permanently, some temporarily) to be a mom, and that certainly shifted the balance in my life. Most important, I am reminding myself to cherish these moments of my daughter’s new life–as crazy as it makes my own life–because they will go by incredibly quickly.

 

What things have made you out of balance? How did you grow from those experiences? How have they shaped what you are today?



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My Path to Coaching and My Approach

In honor of International Coaching Week, February 6 through 12, I am posting a series of short articles about coaching.

Day 6: My Path to Coaching and My Approach

My path to becoming a coach was rather roundabout. I have an established career as a professional book copy editor, and for a while I had my own direct sales business as well. After a particularly grueling quarter with some difficult projects and a lot of extra work, I was exhausted and extremely frustrated. I felt like I was doing the same old thing over and over! I started thinking about what I really wanted, and I began to realize that I wanted my work to make a difference in the world and have an impact in people’s lives. I was getting tempting little tastes of it here and there, and I decided to ramp that up! The only problem was, I wasn’t sure what path would allow me to do that. Should I find a job somewhere? Go back to school? Try something entirely different? At that point “keep doing what I’m doing” was not an attractive option!

In what turned out to be a life-changing meeting, I attended the national conference for my sales company and met a wonderful trainer. I was struck by her enthusiasm and creative ideas, so I made a point of going up to her and asking point-blank if there was any way I could work for her! She said, “I need coaches with your sales experience” (to coach other direct sellers). Ding ding ding! The more I thought over this option, the more appealing it became. I could use my communication skills, combine them with my desire to work with people, and really help clients transform their lives for the better!

My new mentor insisted I take an ICF-accredited coach training course, and I’m so glad I did! I learned the foundation of true coaching: supporting the client to unlock his or her own genius! I’ve been able to work as a coach since 2007, and immediately loved it. In 2008 I started Archer Coaching, my own coaching practice, for working with professionals to create a meaningful career and a balanced life. In 2010, I earned my Associate Certified Coach credential from the International Coach Federation and began working with Roving Coach to offer coaching in corporations.

My approach to coaching is simple: I believe the client is whole, resourceful, and wise. My job is to help unleash a client’s inner genius by asking the right questions, providing a new viewpoint, and supporting him or her on the path to achievement. I am constantly amazed at what people can create, and how they make things happen in their lives. It’s an honor and a privilege to be a part of that. Coaching as a career is an excellent fit for my natural enthusiasm, optimism, curiosity, and desire to learn.

Tomorrow: What Does Archer Coaching Offer?

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Are You Coachable?

In honor of International Coaching Week, February 6 through 12, I am posting a series of short articles about coaching.

Day 5: Are You Coachable?

One of the first things I learned in my coach training is to work with the willing. Not everyone wants or is ready for coaching. Those who want coaching might not be very coachable. The people who get the most out of coaching have a certain set of characteristics. If you’re interested in coaching, ask yourself the following questions to find out if you would truly benefit (coachable people will answer “yes” to most or all).

Do you have a compelling vision and a clear goal?

Do you know what you want? If you aren’t sure what you want, it is difficult (or impossible) to create it. There’s only so far you can go before you’ll get stuck. If you have a vague idea, spend some time crafting your vision of how you want things to be. When you have a clearer picture, you will be ready for coaching. If all you can think is “I just want it to be different than it is now!” or “I don’t want this!” then definitely spend some time imagining what “different” might look like and how you do want things to be! Coachable people have a specific, positive goal or vision in mind, from a short-term project to a big picture.

Are you future-oriented?

Coachable people are ready to move forward. They may learn from the past and take lessons from the present, but they do not allow themselves to wallow in the existing story. They aren’t so much trying to figure out why things went wrong or how they got here as they are trying to build a new future.

Are you open to change and growth–quite possibly beyond your comfort zone?

Coaching is about creating change. Getting what you want and crafting the life you envision requires change, sometimes quite a lot of it. Change leads to growth; growth leads to transformation. Change can be scary. You must be open to it to benefit from coaching. If you aren’t truly interested in change, then coaching isn’t for you.

Are you open to honest feedback?

Can you learn and grow from feedback? In the process of coaching, you’ll get honest feedback, sometimes from the coach, sometimes from other people, and often from yourself as you plunge the depths of your own knowledge and wisdom. Criticism stings (and we can be very hard on ourselves), but constructive feedback can shape your path in a positive way. Can you handle feedback, accept it, and move forward in wisdom?

Are you ready to work?

Coaching can open doors, create opportunities, and help you chart your path. No one can walk that path but you, and it requires taking action. The work may be spiritual, mental, emotional, physical, or all of these things. If you are passive and expect change to come to you, then you won’t get much out of coaching. If you expect that the mere fact that you are being coached will change everything, you will be disappointed. If you don’t put in the effort, you won’t see the reward. You should be ready for change, and you should be ready to make it happen.

Are you focused on something within your control?

A key to coaching is to be sure that you are focused on something within your control to do something about. You cannot change things like time, the laws of physics, and other people. People waste a lot of energy trying to change or influence things they can’t control (for instance, how someone else treats them). If you focus on yourself and your own thoughts, feelings, and actions, you will be able to make real change in a significant way. Through coaching and vision work, you can then imagine and notice how your individual changes might have ripple effects in those around you and the world at large.

Are you ready to invest time, energy, and money in coaching to get results?

Creating the future you want takes effort and work. It also takes time, thought, energy, and, yes, money. Coaching can be a valuable tool to help you get what you want, but it will only work if you feel your goals are worth the investment. Studies are showing that the return on investment for coaching (in business) is three to seven times the dollar amount spent. Instead of looking at coaching as an added cost burden or luxury expense (as many do), look at your goals and your life and ask this: “Am I worth it?” Coaching is an investment in yourself.

You may not be a good candidate for coaching if one or more of the following is true for you.

  • You’re looking for a quick fix or easy answers
  • You just want to complain or get validation for what you’re already doing (even if you’re taking no action at all)
  • You tend to avoid taking responsibility (“It’s not my fault!”), pointing a finger of blame at other people and things
  • You don’t really want to change
  • You’re focused on things that aren’t within your control (other people’s behavior and actions)

If you’re willing to let go of these things, you might be ready for coaching.

Tomorrow: Laura’s Path to Coaching and Her Approach

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A Coach’s Education

In honor of International Coaching Week, February 6 through 12, I am posting a series of short articles about coaching.

Day 3: The Education of a Coach
Currently, coaching is not a regulated field the way social work, therapy, and counseling are (requiring training and degrees, certification, and even licensure). Anyone can call themselves a coach, and many do so, even if coaching isn’t quite the right term for what they do. There is no required training to be a coach.

The International Coach Federation is a voluntary organization that has established core principles for training, as well as a code of ethics and credentialing levels for coaches. When seeking a professional coach, look for one with at least some training, if not certification and credentialing.
Anyone interested in becoming a coach (or learning how some coaches are trained) should go to the ICF Web site and look for Accredited Coach Training Programs (ACTPs).

To be accredited by the ICF, a coach training program must have a minimum of 125 hours of coach-specific training on the ICF Core Competencies and the ICF Code of Ethics, a minimum of six observed coaching sessions with an experienced coach, and a comprehensive final exam. A tip for clients seeking coaching: look for a coach who has completed some sort of training, preferably an ACTP.
Once a coach has completed an ACTP, he or she becomes eligible for credentialing through the ICF. There are currently three levels of credentials available to coaches: Associate Certified Coach (ACC), Professional Certified Coach (PCC), and Master Certified Coach (MCC).
For the ACC credential, the coach must graduate from the ACTP, have a minimum of 100 coaching hours and at least 8 clients, get letters of reference from experienced coaches, and more. For PCC, the applicant must have graduated from an ACTP, have 750 coaching hours and at least 25 clients, and more. For MCC, the highest level, the coach has 2,500 coaching hours, at least 35 clients, and more.
I completed an ACTP through Erickson College (The Art and Science of Coaching). When I completed modules 1-4, I earned the title of Certified Professional Coach. I then completed module 5 and earned the title Erickson Certified Professional Coach. I maintain professional membership in the ICF, which means (among other things) that I abide by their Code of Ethics. In April 2010 I applied for and was awarded my ACC credential from the International Coach Federation.
There are also accredited continuing coach education units, which help coaches grow in their skills (and are required for higher levels of credentialing). I have taken a course in Coaching Team Thinking and Innovation (from Erickson) as well as Energy Leadership Training from iPEC and am now a Master Practitioner of the Energy Leadership Index assessment. An early commitment I made to my career was to have regular continuing education so that I can grow as a coach and serve my clients with more tools.

Tomorrow: How Do People Use Coaching?

Questions about coach training? Leave a comment or contact me!

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Successful List Making

A lot of clients (and friends and colleagues) come to me seeking coaching and advice on time management. In a world where we are always on the go, we seem to seek ways to get even more done. We feel guilty if we unplug for a while, and we feel frustrated if we spin our wheels without getting anything accomplished. Some people get plenty done, but realize they are just “keeping up” without spending time and effort building for the future. The feeling of being frazzled, worn out, and unproductive seems common.

In the course of my coaching training, reading, learning, and life experience, I’ve come across multiple ways to manage tasks and get more done. I don’t claim to use all of these techniques, but I do use quite a few of them. I thought I’d share them now and then on this blog. Today’s tip: maximizing your list(s) of tasks for success.

Lots of people make lists of tasks to get done. These can take many forms: online task trackers, lots of sticky notes, a notebook, scraps of paper, scribbles on calendars. If lists work for you and keep you organized, then by all means, keep using them! Consider some of the following techniques.

Mindset key: Lists (and calendars) are made so that you don’t have to remember everything. Write it down, and then the list does the remembering for you. This allows you to think more about how you want to accomplish the task (and other more forward-moving thoughts), rather than creating anxiety around trying to remember the daily nitty-gritty of what you are supposed to do.

1. Keep a daily short to-do list.

Research has shown that productive people who keep lists do it in a certain way. First, the daily list is relatively short: No more than 5-10 items that are the top priorities of the day (I personally try to keep mine to 5-6 items). This keeps the list manageable. Ever had that feeling of looking at your to-do list and thinking “I can’t do all of this, so I’m not going to do any of it!”? That can happen if your list is massively long. Keep your daily list short and doable. If anything does not get accomplished on that daily list, you can move it to the next day’s list.

  • Slightly silly bonus tip: I love to start my list with something either super-simple or something I’ve already done, like “drink coffee” or “make list.” That way, I can cross it off right away. It seems silly (and folks often laugh when I tell them this!), but it gives me a sense of momentum and satisfaction! “There, one thing done, on to the rest!” (I happen to know I’m not the only one who does this.)
  • Another bonus tip: Put a variety of “small” and “larger” items on the list. For instance you might have “Call doctor to schedule physical” and “Work on slide presentation” on the same list. One task will take a minute or two, the other might take an hour or more. Mix it up. If you have only one major task for the day (“clean the house”), consider breaking it down (dust living room, vacuum upstairs, dishes, laundry, tidy family room).

2. Make the to-do list the day before

The second key to maximizing your daily list is to make it at the end of the day before (or the end of the workday). A lot of people like to start their day with the list, but making it the day before you need it takes advantage of something very powerful: your subconscious brain. If you write the list, and then sleep on it, your subconscious works on the tasks for you while you sleep. Ever woken up in the morning and just knew the solution to a problem, or knew the correct decision in a difficult situation? It’s like that. You might be amazed at how much you can get done if you start making your list at the end of the day.

  • Bonus tip: If you also keep a planner or calendar, consider combining your end-of-the-day list making time with a few minutes of calendar review. This will help you make reasonable lists for each day, because you’ll be aware of, say, how many appointments you might have coming up that take away from your productive time. You might also realized you have to buckle down for a few days because you have several days coming up that have little or no availability. Alternately, if you have loads of time for productive work, you might choose to schedule things that are important for future growth but don’t have a rigid, close deadline.

3. Keep master lists that are longer.

If you like to keep lists of “all the things” you have to do, that’s perfectly fine! Your daily list should be short and sweet, but you can refer to a master list—with categories and subcategories, if needed. Some people like to organize lists like “house items,” “business tasks,” “long-range planning,” and so on. However you like to have longer lists available, make use of them. Check with them now and then to see what you can cross off.

  • Bonus tip: If you keep longer lists, then make sure some of them are keyed to your long-term goals and not just your immediate tasks. For instance, if you have a New Year’s resolution to learn more about personal finance and investing, your master list might include getting some books on personal finance, creating a budget, finding opportunities to save or earn more money, taking a class in investing, meeting with an investment advisor or financial planner, and so on. These may not be red-hot “do it NOW!” items, but they should appear on your lists at some point.

4. Digital or paper?

Some of us love the feel of paper and writing something down. Others are all digital, all the way. There are advantages to both, of course, so my advice is: if what you’re doing works, then stick with it! (I personally use both.) There are many ways to use paper lists–notebooks to sticky notes to special note paper designed just for lists! A benefit to paper lists is the sense of making it “real” as you write it down, and the satisfaction of crossing something off when you’ve done it. Digital options also abound: from Web-based, to software, to smartphone options, you can find something to suit your needs. A benefit to digital list making is that you can set alarms and deadlines to keep you on track and integrate them with your digital calendar, if you use one.

Mindset tip: Remember to celebrate what you get done! Too often we look at our lists and say “wow, I didn’t do X, Y, and Z” and forget what we did accomplish. Notice and celebrate what you do, and reward yourself if you like!

Resources

  • David Allen has written two excellent bestseller books: Getting Things Done and Ready for Anything, about stress-free productivity.
  • A good online to-do list with some fairly sophisticated features (free, or upgrade to paid account) is Toodledo (there’s an iPhone app for this as well).

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Solopreneur Magic: Making the Most of Downtime (part 1)

I have been self-employed for nearly 14 years, running a variety of businesses over that time. One thing I have noticed is that work seems to come in waves. Sometimes I’ll have tsunami of projects, other times just a trickle. I know I’m not alone in this. It can often be feast or famine. So what can you do to build your business if you don’t actually have billable work in hand? Plenty, it turns out! Over the years, I’ve learned to look at “downtime” as a gift to take advantage of. Check out the following ideas.

1. First, and most important: Take time off. Especially during holidays, it’s time for you to visit with family and friends, too! Recharge your batteries, enjoy your life, and take some time for yourself. This is important for staving off burnout. Remind yourself that one of the points of your own business is working (and thus, not working) when you choose. A little R&R can be just the mental and physical refresher you need to come back with renewed energy and vigor. It’s not a crime to spend a day goofing off, especially if you have the time in your schedule.

2. Clean and organize. Did your work space get cluttered up? Receipts lying everywhere? Left the filing until you “had a moment?” Now is your chance! Clean and organize your office space and come back to work with a fresh slate! Purge your email inbox, clean up your hard drive, catch up on the filing. Hang that artwork, vacuum, dust, take out the trash and recycling, create a supportive space for your work.
Bonus tip: Have you been considering implementing a new system for filing, accounting, a database, contacts, or other business process, or perhaps creating forms that might support your business? Devoting time to setting these up carefully and thoughtfully is a great use of downtime.

3. Paperwork. Get caught up or even ahead of yourself. Need to update files? Transfer handwritten notes to disk? Catch up on Quickbooks or online banking? Update log files? It’s never too late to get caught up or get a jump-start on the year-end paperwork you might need.
Especially important: Start inputting everything you need to generate some current financial information. Getting your paperwork up to date now saves you tons of time and frustration when taxes are due.
Bonus tip: If you get an accurate picture of your business finances, you’ll immediately see where you can make more money, where you can cut expenses, and more opportunities for growth. Don’t wait until the end of the year for this!

4. Set some goals. If you have updated your paperwork (especially finances), you probably have a good picture of what the last year, quarter, or month in your business looked like. Now is a good time to set more yearly, quarterly, and monthly goals for you and your business. Stretch a little! Write the new goals down, so you can track how well you do. Don’t wait until the end of the calendar year to set goals–do it now!

Next up: Four more tips!

What do you do for your business when you have downtime?

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Goodness Gracious

My friends (and long-suffering husband) know that I have a guilty pleasure of watching reality TV competitions (Project Runway, Top Model, Top Chef, etc.). I just love to see what people do creatively! Frequently, I learn something about human nature by watching these shows, and I occasionally include a lesson learned here on my blog. Today’s lesson: being gracious in defeat or failure.

On Hell’s Kitchen, the teams of chefs are usually given a short challenge at the beginning of the episode. One team wins, and the other team loses. Unlike most other reality shows, Chef Gordon Ramsay not only rewards the winners but also punishes the losers, usually with a menial task such as cleaning the restaurant or peeling a thousand pounds of potatoes. On most reality shows, “losers” might whine and pout about not winning (some end up holding a grudge about it). On Hell’s Kitchen, the “losers” gripe, complain, moan, blame each other for losing, and sometimes refuse to work. You often hear the phrase “I am not here to clean! I am a chef!” or even “I have people to do this!” I get the very clear impression that these chefs, as talented and skilled as they are, truly feel they are “above” the tasks they are asked to do. (One chef even dodges doing kitchen prep work, saying that Ramsay is not looking for a great prep chef.)

I sometimes just want to shake these contestants and say, “You can’t win every time! Where’s your humility? Take your lumps, handle it with grace, and grow from this experience!” The tasks they are given, while not always related to cooking, do relate to what is involved with running a restaurant, which is the ultimate reward the winner will be given. Having respect for what the maitre d’ and the wait staff and cleaning crew do is critical to building a good team for a successful restaurant.

These thoughts were oddly brought into focus at a high school reunion I attended recently (my husband’s class; we graduated from the same school). At the magnet high school we attended, a graduation requirement was to work three hours every week, unpaid, at the school. Incoming students were required to spend a semester working those hours either in the cafeteria or on the grounds. Let me tell you, this kind of work will teach you that you are not “above” anything. It will teach you respect for the people who do these jobs all day long, and not just for a measly three hours a week.

We all learn from failure, punishment, and situations in which we don’t get what we want. As a coach, my job is to help people get what they want (as long as it is within their control!), but as a human being, I know it simply isn’t possible 100% of the time, especially if one is in direct competition with another. So I encourage others (and myself!) to see where the growth opportunities are, even if you “lose.” Suddenly, losing isn’t so bad.

What have you learned from losing? Who have you become because of it?

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Pet Projects

A lot of people think that coaching only comes into play for big-picture life or career issues. Did you know that coaching can also be supportive of a single particular project?

Coaching is a collaborative relationship in which the client is supported in creating what he or she wants in the present and future. Certainly this is extremely helpful in terms of broad aspects of one’s life, such as finances, career, communication, spirituality, and more. Imagine what might be possible if you had this kind of focused support and energy around a project. What could you achieve?

You might wonder what kind of projects are appropriate for a coaching relationship. The answer: just about anything you can imagine that has a timeline for completion!

  • writing a book
  • creating a business plan
  • developing a workshop or speech
  • training plan for a triathlon
  • starting a club or community group
  • planning a wedding or other large event
  • completing college or graduate school
  • job search
  • work projects, such as creation of an action team or development of a program
  • earning tenure at a university

What are your pet projects? What would you like to accomplish, and by when?

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Should You Hire a Life Coach?

I am absolutely tickled pink about an article a former client wrote. Some time ago, I donated three coaching sessions as the door prize at a Toastmasters conference. I very much enjoyed working with the recipient. She let me know that she just wrote an article about hiring and working with a life coach.

So here it is: Life Coach: Should You Hire One?

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Thinking Bigger: The VA Experience

Loyal blog readers may remember some time ago that I posted about the three D’s of task management: delete, defer, and delegate. Well, I’ve had some serious experience with delegating recently. I hired a virtual assistant (VA) several months ago. The different in my business, my approach to it, and my personal growth has been startling! I want to share my experiences here, partly to sing the praises of VAs and partly to show how a simple change can bring about profound learning.

Virtual assistants can do all kinds of support work for a businessperson. Without getting into too much detail, they can offer administrative support, some Web work, design, event planning, phone calls, documentation, you name it. I found my VA through a local networking group, and we signed a contract by which she provides me 4 hours of her services each month. How I ask her to use the time is up to me. So far, I have had her work on both of my Web sites (which were recently relaunched in WordPress), design promotional flyers for and assist with some training events, optimize my profile on some business networking sites, make phone calls and perform some research, and create a PowerPoint presentation from some extremely raw text. I plan to have her help me with a newsletter, more slide presentations, and some marketing tasks in the future!

What surprised me in the process of making use of this support is how much it helped me grow! The lessons ran deeper than I could have imagined (and are still revealing themselves to me). Here are some of them.

  • I was pushed (in a good way) to let go of something and trust another person to handle it. I’ve been self-employed for 14 years, and because I’ve always had to handle everything, it’s fair to say I became a bit of a control freak. I’m so used to handling it all–it was a challenge to let something go. When I was able to do so, a lot of new, exciting opportunities for my time and energy opened up!
  • I became more engaged in my best work. Because I now have support around the details and busy-work of my company, I have more of my brain power and heart invested in the actual work–that of coaching. I no longer have to fret over details because I have a trusted person to handle them for me. I can truly focus on serving my clients.
  • I opened the door to more profitability. I was shocked when I realized that my VA could spend 1 hour on something that would take me 4 or more hours (and a lot of frustration) to get done. I can use those 4 hours to do billable work! Also, because she can support me with excellent work, I’ve accelerated my plans on a lot of my business-building ideas, which will bring more clients to me.
  • I began to see more possibilities in my business. As I was challenged to come up with tasks for my VA (she works so fast!), I started to see a lot more opportunities for myself and my business. Currently, she is developing a slide presentation for me from very raw text and images. This will be published on SlideShare and available for free to anyone who is interested. Before I met my VA, I doubt I ever would have considered this. I don’t like slides, and I don’t know how to use PowerPoint well, and it would have perpetually been put on the back burner. Now it’s happening! More creative ideas are coming to me all the time, and I’m energized to attack them.
  • I started thinking like a bigger company. Suddenly, I have “people.” I can take on bigger projects, bigger commitments because I have support in other areas. I feel more professional. I’ve widened my playing field. This has opened up even more opportunities, and I find I’m incredibly excited and engaged with my business all over again!

Obviously, I recommend a good VA if you need or want some support in your business. As you think about the cost of hiring someone, weight it against the immediate benefits of getting things done, and remember to think about the bigger picture advantages!

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