Archer Coaching

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A Bigger Game

Mar 13

Posted by Laura in Coaching, Creativity, Dreaming, Making an impact, Mindfulness, Powerful questions, Uncategorized, blessing, change, clarity, joy, momentum, performance, planning, resistance | 2 Comments

Recently I completed some fantastic training on Energy Leadership with iPEC in New Jersey. Like most coach training, we learn techniques and concepts and then practice on each other, which opens the door for a lot of new learning, breakthroughs, and transformative thinking! A major takeaway for me from the weekend was this: It’s time for me to play a bigger game.

I have been stagnating in a few areas of my life and not stepping up to the plate with my true potential. I’ve been playing it safe, going with “good enough,” and making a lot excuses for not going bigger. I dug a comfortable little hidey hole in my complacency and fear. I have allowed certain beliefs and thoughts to hold me back.

The experience of new training and new thinking challenged me in these areas. It was really uncomfortable, and I felt a lot of resistance at first–which means that is precisely where I need to grow. Once I realized that I was playing small, it became more and more evident to me based on some feelings (and actions) I have had lately.

Now I’m completely energized and excited about the next phase of my life game.

So I hereby make this promise: I promise to play bigger. For myself, for my clients, for the world.

How will you show up for a bigger game in your life?

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Love

Feb 11

Posted by Laura in Appreciation, Creativity, blessing, holiday, joy, love | 1 Comment

One of my favorite holidays is fast approaching: Valentine’s Day! Why do I love it? Because I love love itself. I like to celebrate love. And I am continually challenged to do so in a meaningful way. It occurred to me lately that the point of such a holiday is about showing love, not proving love.

Valentine’s Day is the feast day of Saint Valentine. Not much is known about Valentine, except that he was martyred in the third century. He is the patron saint of engaged couples, happy marriages, love, lovers, and young people (among other things). He is represented in pictures with birds and roses.

Somehow, the observation of a saint’s feast day has turned into a marketing whirlwind of products. They start to appear immediately after Christmas–whole aisles of things that are heart-shaped, red and pink, and cutesy-poo (sometimes nauseatingly so). Much like the commercialization of Christmas, Valentine’s Day has been seized by marketers as a way to ram more needless “stuff” down our throats. I’ve seen people (men, mostly) coming out of shops on V-day with armloads of flowers, chocolate, balloons, and stuffed animals. It makes me a little ill, frankly. I can’t imagine demanding that of someone. You don’t really need that stuff to show someone how much you love them.

So the challenge becomes how to celebrate love in a meaningful, heartfelt, and thoughtful way. My husband and I made a pact to just do something together. Some years that means we hand-make Valentine cards, sometimes we cook a nice romantic dinner and eat it by candlelight, sometimes we cuddle on the couch and watch a good movie, other times we head to art museum to get some culture.

I am truly curious to hear some great ideas from my loyal readers. How do you show your love in a way that’s meaningful to you? What Valentine’s Days past do you treasure in your heart?

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Mulligans

Jan 27

Posted by Laura in Appreciation, Mindfulness, Resolution, blessing, change, clarity, failure, joy, love | No Comments

I hereby declare “do-overs” for January 2010. Yep, we are starting over, rebooting the year. Mulligans for all!

All around me, people are having a rough start to the new year. Many were bidding adieu (and good riddance) to a difficult 2009, and then 2010 starts off with a few hard punches to the gut. Around me I see lost jobs, breakdowns, deaths, ended relationships, and diminished resources, not to mention the obvious natural disasters. Mercury is in retrograde, I hear. Perhaps we can blame it on that.

Last night at a local meeting, I had the privilege of hearing the fantastic Mary Cantando speak. One of the points she made that stuck with me was that when something bad happens, try to look for the silver lining, specifically by saying (aloud) “Three good things about this are…” Once you say it out loud, the good things start to flow from your brain. When you can consistently look for the good, it can help you balance the bad and not let it get hold of you.

Three good things about a very hard month?

  1. Difficulties around us bring out the very best in humanity (giving, caring, loving).
  2. We are reminded that every moment of our (normal, mundane) lives is incredibly precious.
  3. We are challenged to grow larger than the problems that try to derail us.

We won’t get do-overs for January, but perhaps we don’t really need them. We can and will rebuild and create something wonderful, among the rubble of the pain, loss, and heartache. This is what defines success: not avoiding being knocked down, but continually getting back up after it (inevitably) happens.

The Value of the Experience (or, Doing versus Having)

Dec 13

Posted by Laura in Mindfulness, Uncategorized, blessing, cars, experience, food, holiday, joy, love, openness | 1 Comment

As this holiday season approaches like a freight train, I find myself avoiding the shopping. In years past, I have begun Christmas shopping in July or so, so I could be sure to pick the perfect gift. In more recent years, “things” became far less important to me, and this year, that is even more the case. My mom asked for me to make a charitable donation in her honor, which I will do for several more family members as well. I usually do a pie exchange with my dad. My sister and I agreed to just get each other two pairs of crazy socks (our favorite). My niece and nephew will get gift cards. Husband and I agreed to just love each other more than ever and spend time together this holiday season (he’s impossible to shop for, anyway). For several others, we commit to having a nice meal together soon.

As I grow older (and more breathtakingly intelligent ;) ) I am less attached to things. I find more joy in experiences (being or doing, instead of having and owning). The ephemeral nature of something experienced is a powerful, treasured memory. My memories turn into stories. And I love to tell stories (it’s a family thing!). I find myself growing and becoming more than I am, due to experiences!

In the past few years, I’ve found joy in some of the following experiences. (Feel free to try these in your own life, and share what experiences you enjoy!)

Food. I’m turning into a budding foodie. After watching a lot of Top Chef and Hell’s Kitchen, I became fascinated with fine dining and food experiences. So I created a Gourmet Club with two girlfriends. Once a month, we go out to a really nice restaurant. We take turns picking the place and making the reservation. We may order whatever we like, but must be prepared to share a bite or two when asked. Formerly a picky eater, I have committed myself to trying new things! For instance, I’ve now eaten (and enjoyed) foie gras (yummmm!), Brussels sprouts, escargots, veal, and more. However, I still don’t care for scallops. This kind of experience is so much fun and has really helped me open up my horizons! (Also, for local folks: I’m happy to make restaurant recommendations!) I also enjoyed a knife skills class at a local cooking school, and I’m looking to learn more.

Reading. I have been a member of a book club since 1995! We read fiction, meet once a month, and discuss. This wonderful group of fabulous women has spawned a lot of deep friendships, not to mention amazing discussions of books! Because we read a wide variety of genres, the group has helped me reach beyond my comfort zone and grow. I’m a big fan of my local library, and friends loan me books all the time. It’s a unique excitement to find out one of your favorite authors has a new book out (right now: new Barbara Kingsolver!).

Cars. I realize this sounds more like a “thing” than an “experience.” Bear with me, here. I love cars. LOVE ‘em. Inherited this love from my dad, bless him. I love to watch Top Gear

Hot Car

Hot Car

and indulge myself. I enjoy car shows. In November I got to do something truly amazing: take a four-hour tour in three different supercars (through a group called Supercar Sensation in Charlotte). I drove a Ferrari 360 Spyder, an Aston Martin Vantage, and the new Nissan GT-R. (If you care about these things, the Nissan was, hands down, the best car of the day.) This is precisely how I want to experience cars like this–in a tour, on back roads, just getting a feel for them. I don’t want to race them (although I do want to try a track day) or own one, I just want to experience them for a while. Next up: a tour with the Lamborghini Gallardo, a Porsche 911 Turbo, and an AMG-tuned Mercedes!

What experiences do you treasure? What activities or experiences offer joy for you?