A guest post from Stephanie McDilda of Roving Coach International.

1. Focus on you. Have you ever noticed how just when you need to talk about a problem or an issue, your friend wants to chime in with their story? “Well if you think that’s bad, let me tell you what happened to me!” A coach will focus on you and your story, sharing examples only if they help you learn and grow.

2. Listen professionally. A good coach is a trained professional listener. They hear what you are saying and help you listen to yourself.

3. Be honest with you! “But my friends are all honest with me . . . aren’t they?” Sometimes the people who are closest to you may want to avoid hurting you. They may fear losing your friendship. And frankly, because they like you so much, they may see only your good points.

4. Be objective. When it comes to your personal and professional life, your friends are far from neutral. If you are considering a career change that may move you across the country, it will be hard for your best friend to be impartial as they help you decide.

5. Avoid commiserating. It’s nice to have someone to dump on when you’re down or have had a hard day. A coach will be there in the bad times as well as the good. A coach, however, knows when and how to gently push you out of your pity party and into positive action.

6. Move you to action. Like your best friend, your coach wants to hear your dreams and goals. It is the rare best friend that will guide you toward a plan and concrete “do-able” actions. Coaching without action is just a pleasant conversation.

7. Develop a structured relationship with purpose. While meeting with your coach will be fun, there is a definite purpose for your getting together. That purpose may be to help you solve a problem, or reach a goal, or pursue your dream. Whatever you are seeking, your coach will work to keep you focused and moving forward.

8. Hold you accountable. A coach is not a parent. Your coach will work with you as an adult, expecting you to keep commitments and take action. Many people move forward successfully just from knowing that they have made a verbal commitment to another person.

9. Avoid judgment. You coach will be unconditionally supportive. They will be your cheerleader when you succeed and a gentle encourager when you fall down.

10. Celebrate your success. With luck, all of your friends will be happy, excited and proud of your success. Unfortunately, however, even those people who care for you may occasionally feel threatened or jealous of your accomplishments. Your coach will always rejoice in your triumphs!

Share It

Hide Sites

Day 5: Are You Coachable?

One of the first things I learned in my coach training is to work with the willing. Not everyone wants or is ready for coaching. Those who want coaching might not be very coachable. The people who get the most out of coaching have a certain set of characteristics. If you’re interested in coaching, ask yourself the following questions to find out if you would truly benefit (coachable people will answer “yes” to most or all).

Do you have a compelling vision and a clear goal?

Do you know what you want? If you aren’t sure what you want, it is difficult (or impossible) to create it. There’s only so far you can go before you’ll get stuck. If you have a vague idea, spend some time crafting your vision of how you want things to be. When you have a clearer picture, you will be ready for coaching. If all you can think is “I just want it to be different than it is now!” or “I don’t want this!” then definitely spend some time imagining what “different” might look like and how you do want things to be! Coachable people have a specific, positive goal or vision in mind, from a short-term project to a big picture.

Are you future-oriented?

Coachable people are ready to move forward. They may learn from the past and take lessons from the present, but they do not allow themselves to wallow in the existing story. They aren’t so much trying to figure out why things went wrong or how they got here as they are trying to build a new future.

Are you open to change and growth–quite possibly beyond your comfort zone?

Coaching is about creating change. Getting what you want and crafting the life you envision requires change, sometimes quite a lot of it. Change leads to growth; growth leads to transformation. Change can be scary. You must be open to it to benefit from coaching. If you aren’t truly interested in change, then coaching isn’t for you.

Are you open to honest feedback?

Can you learn and grow from feedback? In the process of coaching, you’ll get honest feedback, sometimes from the coach, sometimes from other people, and often from yourself as you plunge the depths of your own knowledge and wisdom. Criticism stings (and we can be very hard on ourselves), but constructive feedback can shape your path in a positive way. Can you handle feedback, accept it, and move forward in wisdom?

Are you ready to work?

Coaching can open doors, create opportunities, and help you chart your path. No one can walk that path but you, and it requires taking action. The work may be spiritual, mental, emotional, physical, or all of these things. If you are passive and expect change to come to you, then you won’t get much out of coaching. If you expect that the mere fact that you are being coached will change everything, you will be disappointed. If you don’t put in the effort, you won’t see the reward. You should be ready for change, and you should be ready to make it happen.

Are you focused on something within your control?

A key to coaching is to be sure that you are focused on something within your control to do something about. You cannot change things like time, the laws of physics, and other people. People waste a lot of energy trying to change or influence things they can’t control (for instance, how someone else treats them). If you focus on yourself and your own thoughts, feelings, and actions, you will be able to make real change in a significant way. Through coaching and vision work, you can then imagine and notice how your individual changes might have ripple effects in those around you and the world at large.

Are you ready to invest time, energy, and money in coaching to get results?

Creating the future you want takes effort and work. It also takes time, thought, energy, and, yes, money. Coaching can be a valuable tool to help you get what you want, but it will only work if you feel your goals are worth the investment. Studies are showing that the return on investment for coaching (in business) is three to seven times the dollar amount spent. Instead of looking at coaching as an added cost burden or luxury expense (as many do), look at your goals and your life and ask this: “Am I worth it?” Coaching is an investment in yourself.

You may not be a good candidate for coaching if one or more of the following is true for you.

• You’re looking for a quick fix or easy answers
• You just want to complain or get validation for what you’re already doing (even if you’re taking no action at all)
• You tend to avoid taking responsibility (“It’s not my fault!”), pointing a finger of blame at other people and things
• You don’t really want to change
• You’re focused on things that aren’t within your control (other people’s behavior and actions)

If you’re willing to let go of these things, you might be ready for coaching.

Tomorrow: Laura’s Path to Coaching and Her Approach

Share It

Hide Sites

Day 3: The Education of a Coach
Currently, coaching is not a regulated field the way social work, therapy, and counseling are (requiring training and degrees, certification, and even licensure). Anyone can call themselves a coach, and many do so, even if coaching isn’t quite the right term for what they do. There is no required training to be a coach.

The International Coach Federation is a voluntary organization that has established core principles for training, as well as a code of ethics and credentialing levels for coaches. When seeking a professional coach, look for one with at least some training, if not certification and credentialing.
Anyone interested in becoming a coach (or learning how some coaches are trained) should go to the ICF Web site and look for Accredited Coach Training Programs (ACTPs).

To be accredited by the ICF, a coach training program must have a minimum of 125 hours of coach-specific training on the ICF Core Competencies and the ICF Code of Ethics, a minimum of six observed coaching sessions with an experienced coach, and a comprehensive final exam. A tip for clients seeking coaching: look for a coach who has completed some sort of training, preferably an ACTP.
Once a coach has completed an ACTP, he or she becomes eligible for credentialing through the ICF. There are currently three levels of credentials available to coaches: Associate Certified Coach (ACC), Professional Certified Coach (PCC), and Master Certified Coach (MCC).
For the ACC credential, the coach must graduate from the ACTP, have a minimum of 100 coaching hours and at least 8 clients, get letters of reference from experienced coaches, and more. For PCC, the applicant must have graduated from an ACTP, have 750 coaching hours and at least 25 clients, and more. For MCC, the highest level, the coach has 2,500 coaching hours, at least 35 clients, and more.
I completed an ACTP through Erickson College (The Art and Science of Coaching). When I completed modules 1-4, I earned the title of Certified Professional Coach. I then completed module 5 and earned the title Erickson Certified Professional Coach. I maintain professional membership in the ICF, which means (among other things) that I abide by their Code of Ethics. In April 2010 I applied for and was awarded my ACC credential from the International Coach Federation.
There are also accredited continuing coach education units, which help coaches grow in their skills (and are required for higher levels of credentialing). I have taken a course in Coaching Team Thinking and Innovation (from Erickson) as well as Energy Leadership Training from iPEC and am now a Master Practitioner of the Energy Leadership Index assessment. An early commitment I made to my career was to have regular continuing education so that I can grow as a coach and serve my clients with more tools.

Tomorrow: How Do People Use Coaching?

Questions about coach training? Leave a comment or contact me!

Share It

Hide Sites

Day 2: What Does a Coach Do?

How does a coach go about supporting clients in creating what they want? There are many techniques, approaches, tools, and exercises available for coaches. Today I’m going to discuss in broad terms how a coach might go about helping a client achieve his or her goals.

A relationship between coach and client, first and foremost, is focused on the client. A person comes to a coach with a goal in mind–something to achieve, create, or change. The coach honors that goal and helps the client keep it in mind as they drill down to specific action steps together. The coach holds an objective viewpoint (as objective as possible, this is often called “coach position”) to help the client see a bigger picture and rise above distractions. The coach holds the client accountable for his or her commitments.

In a coaching relationship (lasting anywhere from a few sessions to more long-term work), the coach is responsible for the following:

• Asking powerful questions that elicit the client’s inner resourcefulness
• Keeping the client focused on the big, overall goals
• Providing a safe, creative space where the client’s creativity can come forth
• Respecting and honoring clients’ views of the world—they are the experts in their lives
• Helping clients see the bigger, broader connections of their choices, changes, and growth
• Encouraging the client to dream
• Maintaining a clean “coach position” and not offering opinions, judgment, analysis, or advice
• Communicating clearly and directly
• Holding clients accountable as they request

A single coaching session is essentially a powerful conversation. Whether it is held over the phone or in person (or virtually), a coaching session creates a space and time in which the client can be focused on his or her goals, creativity can flow, and new options are explored. Thinking and beliefs can be examined, changed, and boosted. A coaching session can be a welcome “oasis” for a client, who may be so busy with day-to-day tasks and activities that an hour to focus on the future and desired goals helps him or her create true momentum for change and transformation.

In a coaching session, the coach might do any or all of the following:

• Step into coach position, and listen powerfully to questions asked
• Match the client’s energy, body language, vocal tone
• Check in to see how things went with the client’s action items from the previous session
• Ask what the goal for the session is and be sure it is clearly stated and measurable
• Inquire about how achieving that goal will help things change for the client, asking whether it is compatible with the overall goal and life values of the client (connecting to big picture).
• Invite the client to brainstorm on how he or she might go about making that change or reaching that goal
• Offer exercises, tools, and techniques that could help a client get “unstuck” or tap into deeper resources (it is the client’s choice whether to make use of these tools)
• Keep the client focused on him- or herself and on the future
• Help the client choose among potential action items to develop a plan to implement
• Ask how the client will remain committed to the action plan and how he or she wants the coach to follow up

A trained and experienced coach has many other tools to offer clients in a session or across a working relationship. The description here is very broad!

Tomorrow: The Education of a Coach

Share It

Hide Sites

In the course of my coaching training, reading, learning, and life experience, I’ve come across multiple ways to manage tasks and get more done. I don’t claim to use all of these techniques, but I do use quite a few of them. I thought I’d share them now and then on this blog. Today’s tip: maximizing your list(s) of tasks for success.

Lots of people make lists of tasks to get done. These can take many forms: online task trackers, lots of sticky notes, a notebook, scraps of paper, scribbles on calendars. If lists work for you and keep you organized, then by all means, keep using them! Consider some of the following techniques.

Mindset key: Lists (and calendars) are made so that you don’t have to remember everything. Write it down, and then the list does the remembering for you. This allows you to think more about how you want to accomplish the task (and other more forward-moving thoughts), rather than creating anxiety around trying to remember the daily nitty-gritty of what you are supposed to do.

1. Keep a daily short to-do list.

Research has shown that productive people who keep lists do it in a certain way. First, the daily list is relatively short: No more than 5-10 items that are the top priorities of the day (I personally try to keep mine to 5-6 items). This keeps the list manageable. Ever had that feeling of looking at your to-do list and thinking “I can’t do all of this, so I’m not going to do any of it!”? That can happen if your list is massively long. Keep your daily list short and doable. If anything does not get accomplished on that daily list, you can move it to the next day’s list.

• Slightly silly bonus tip: I love to start my list with something either super-simple or something I’ve already done, like “drink coffee” or “make list.” That way, I can cross it off right away. It seems silly (and folks often laugh when I tell them this!), but it gives me a sense of momentum and satisfaction! “There, one thing done, on to the rest!” (I happen to know I’m not the only one who does this.)

• Another bonus tip: Put a variety of “small” and “larger” items on the list. For instance you might have “Call doctor to schedule physical” and “Work on slide presentation” on the same list. One task will take a minute or two, the other might take an hour or more. Mix it up. If you have only one major task for the day (“clean the house”), consider breaking it down (dust living room, vacuum upstairs, dishes, laundry, tidy family room).

2. Make the to-do list the day before

The second key to maximizing your daily list is to make it at the end of the day before (or the end of the workday). A lot of people like to start their day with the list, but making it the day before you need it takes advantage of something very powerful: your subconscious brain. If you write the list, and then sleep on it, your subconscious works on the tasks for you while you sleep. Ever woken up in the morning and just knew the solution to a problem, or knew the correct decision in a difficult situation? It’s like that. You might be amazed at how much you can get done if you start making your list at the end of the day.

• Bonus tip: If you also keep a planner or calendar, consider combining your end-of-the-day list making time with a few minutes of calendar review. This will help you make reasonable lists for each day, because you’ll be aware of, say, how many appointments you might have coming up that take away from your productive time. You might also realized you have to buckle down for a few days because you have several days coming up that have little or no availability. Alternately, if you have loads of time for productive work, you might choose to schedule things that are important for future growth but don’t have a rigid, close deadline.

3. Keep master lists that are longer.

If you like to keep lists of “all the things” you have to do, that’s perfectly fine! Your daily list should be short and sweet, but you can refer to a master list—with categories and subcategories, if needed. Some people like to organize lists like “house items,” “business tasks,” “long-range planning,” and so on. However you like to have longer lists available, make use of them. Check with them now and then to see what you can cross off.

• Bonus tip: If you keep longer lists, then make sure some of them are keyed to your long-term goals and not just your immediate tasks. For instance, if you have a New Year’s resolution to learn more about personal finance and investing, your master list might include getting some books on personal finance, creating a budget, finding opportunities to save or earn more money, taking a class in investing, meeting with an investment advisor or financial planner, and so on. These may not be red-hot “do it NOW!” items, but they should appear on your lists at some point.

4. Digital or paper?

Some of us love the feel of paper and writing something down. Others are all digital, all the way. There are advantages to both, of course, so my advice is: if what you’re doing works, then stick with it! (I personally use both.) There are many ways to use paper lists–notebooks to sticky notes to special note paper designed just for lists! A benefit to paper lists is the sense of making it “real” as you write it down, and the satisfaction of crossing something off when you’ve done it. Digital options also abound: from Web-based, to software, to smartphone options, you can find something to suit your needs. A benefit to digital list making is that you can set alarms and deadlines to keep you on track and integrate them with your digital calendar, if you use one.

Mindset tip: Remember to celebrate what you get done! Too often we look at our lists and say “wow, I didn’t do X, Y, and Z” and forget what we did accomplish. Notice and celebrate what you do, and reward yourself if you like!

Resources

• David Allen has written two excellent bestseller books: Getting Things Done and Ready for Anything, about stress-free productivity.
• A good online to-do list with some fairly sophisticated features (free, or upgrade to paid account) is Toodledo (there’s an iPhone app for this as well).

Share It

Hide Sites

Announcing: A special coaching package to launch 2011 and catapult you into success!

• Four 1-hour coaching sessions at a discounted price
• Scheduled at your convenience (by phone or Skype)
• Includes powerful values elicitation exercise
• Begins with Life Plan overview for a big-picture view
• Focused on you and your life
• Certified, credentialed coach to support you
• Coach is available by phone or email for check-ins and updates

Cost: $300 (normally $450)

Get started: go to my Calendar page to see my Appointy calendar. Select the 2011 Package option, and schedule your first session! Or, contact me directly with questions or requests for other times. When you’ve registered, you will receive contact and billing information.

I look forward to supporting you in creating success!

Share It

Hide Sites

That’s what my coaching mentor used to say, and she was right. How often do you say, “I really should…” or “I gotta…” or “I just need to…” or “I really ought to…” Is this kind of self-talk really motivating? Sometimes (perhaps for a lucky few), but usually it’s not. We can “should” all day long, but that often makes us less likely to do what we say, and then we feel guilty about it, and even stuck. Think about it: “I really should lose weight, start running, call Sally back, plan that trip, save some more money…”

These kind of verbal habits don’t do us any favors. We can “should” all over ourselves and all we have to show for it is guilt and a growing long to-do list.

How can you truly motivate yourself with your self-talk?

The first step is awareness: stop and listen how you talk to yourself or state your intentions. Do you use a lot of shoulds, oughts, needs, or gottas? What is your gut reaction to these phrases? How do you feel?

Note: Sometimes need is the right word. It can go both ways, so a gut-check will tell you if it’s the proper motivational phrase for you.

Me, I’m a bit contrary. If someone tells me I really should do something (even if I know it’s a good idea), I’m liable to think (but usually not say) “Nuh UH!” or even “Oh yeah? Watch me do the opposite just to spite you!” I even feel this way a bit when I tell myself I ought to do something. My natural contrariness rears its head and despite all my good intentions I don’t move forward.

The second step is changing your language. This requires awareness (the first step) and then deliberate effort and thought to create more meaningful and motivational self-talk. For instance, instead of saying “I really ought to clean out my car” you could try one of the following statements and check how you feel in response:

• I deserve a clean car.
• I dare to clean out my car.
• I choose to clean out my car.
• I intend to clean out my car.
• I will clean out my car.
• (What other phrases motivate you?)

These statements are much stronger and in control. The put you in the driver’s seat, instead of placing you as the poor victim of your list of needs, shoulds, and oughts.

What language do you use to motivate yourself?

Share It

Hide Sites

Cost: Only $23! Register here (and check out Fem Central’s other excellent courses). Register today to reserve your space!

Share It

Hide Sites

I have been self-employed for nearly 14 years, running a variety of businesses over that time. One thing I have noticed is that work seems to come in waves. Sometimes I’ll have tsunami of projects, other times just a trickle. I know I’m not alone in this. It can often be feast or famine. So what can you do to build your business if you don’t actually have billable work in hand? Plenty, it turns out! Over the years, I’ve learned to look at “downtime” as a gift to take advantage of. Check out the following ideas.

5. Learn something. Downtime, even just a few hours, is a terrific time to break out those CDs or MP3s you picked up at a conference or online but haven’t listened to yet, find some books and online training, or read that pile of magazines. It’s important to stay current in your field. You’ll have the time–so open up your mind, and get ready to learn some fabulous new techniques and ideas! Load up your e-reader or your iPod, or go to the library. If you don’t have a pile of stuff waiting for you, go online to professional associations related to your business.

Bonus tip: When reading, have a notebook handy. If you get inspired by an idea, you can write it down, with reference to where you read it. Then you have a “hot list” of ideas and thoughts that you can refer to without flipping through a pile of material trying to find it again. This can be quite useful when you’re searching for blog, article, or speech topics (see tip 7). Alternatively, keep some sticky-note flags available so you can highlight key ideas in a book or magazine.

6. Update your online presence. You may well have a daily or weekly practice of time set aside to maintaining your Facebook Fan page (or personal page), LinkedIn, Twitter, any Ning networks you are a member of, and your website, among others. Downtime is a great opportunity to make major updates and changes. LinkedIn particularly is constantly adding new features; take a little time to create a company profile, update your personal profile, find some new groups to join, and ask and answer questions. Write those new pages for your website like you have been thinking about, update your profiles on other sites, add more content where you can.

Bonus tips: With a tool like HootSuite, you can write a bunch of status updates and tweets and schedule them to go out in the future, instead of all at once. If you use WordPress for your website, you can “draft” pages before publishing them, giving you time to work them through carefully and thoughtfully.

7. Get writing. Write some blog posts, newsletters, articles, speeches, even books. When you make your expertise available, you establish yourself as an authority in your subject and offer valuable content to potential customers and clients. Downtime is a great opportunity to let your creative juices flow. Many blogging platforms allow you to schedule the release of your blog posts in advance (one colleague of mine has a year’s worth of weekly posts already scheduled!). You can easily turn blog posts into articles and publish those on your site (or at a site like ezinearticles.com) or submit them to relevant publications. If you have a regular newsletter, you can start prepping future issues to save you time. Finally, you can turn blog posts and articles into speaking presentations (if you have the communication skills), which is a terrific way to build your business. If you have several blog posts, articles, or presentations on a related topic, you have the bulk of a book (or ebook) written.

Bonus tip: Many social media platforms will link to your blog so that when you publish a new post, it is automatically imported to that platform.

8. Renew connections and make new ones. Business downtime is a great time reestablish your professional connections and make new ones. Have lunch, coffee, or meet up with your colleagues and strategic partners. Go through that pile of business cards and connect online (with social media) and in person. Follow up with potential opportunities by calling, sending a hand-written card, or connecting in another way. Find some networking groups to visit and meet new folks.

Bonus tip: Whenever you receive a new business card from a connection, write a note on the back–where and when you met, any key conversation tips you had, when to follow up, or whatever you need to remember the person by more than just a card!

Share It

Hide Sites

1. First, and most important: Take time off. Especially during holidays, it’s time for you to visit with family and friends, too! Recharge your batteries, enjoy your life, and take some time for yourself. This is important for staving off burnout. Remind yourself that one of the points of your own business is working (and thus, not working) when you choose. A little R&R can be just the mental and physical refresher you need to come back with renewed energy and vigor. It’s not a crime to spend a day goofing off, especially if you have the time in your schedule.

2. Clean and organize. Did your work space get cluttered up? Receipts lying everywhere? Left the filing until you “had a moment?” Now is your chance! Clean and organize your office space and come back to work with a fresh slate! Purge your email inbox, clean up your hard drive, catch up on the filing. Hang that artwork, vacuum, dust, take out the trash and recycling, create a supportive space for your work.
Bonus tip: Have you been considering implementing a new system for filing, accounting, a database, contacts, or other business process, or perhaps creating forms that might support your business? Devoting time to setting these up carefully and thoughtfully is a great use of downtime.

3. Paperwork. Get caught up or even ahead of yourself. Need to update files? Transfer handwritten notes to disk? Catch up on Quickbooks or online banking? Update log files? It’s never too late to get caught up or get a jump-start on the year-end paperwork you might need.
Especially important: Start inputting everything you need to generate some current financial information. Getting your paperwork up to date now saves you tons of time and frustration when taxes are due.
Bonus tip: If you get an accurate picture of your business finances, you’ll immediately see where you can make more money, where you can cut expenses, and more opportunities for growth. Don’t wait until the end of the year for this!

4. Set some goals. If you have updated your paperwork (especially finances), you probably have a good picture of what the last year, quarter, or month in your business looked like. Now is a good time to set more yearly, quarterly, and monthly goals for you and your business. Stretch a little! Write the new goals down, so you can track how well you do. Don’t wait until the end of the calendar year to set goals–do it now!

Next up: Four more tips!

What do you do for your business when you have downtime?

Share It

Hide Sites