Day 2: What Does a Coach Do?

How does a coach go about supporting clients in creating what they want? There are many techniques, approaches, tools, and exercises available for coaches. Today I’m going to discuss in broad terms how a coach might go about helping a client achieve his or her goals.

A relationship between coach and client, first and foremost, is focused on the client. A person comes to a coach with a goal in mind–something to achieve, create, or change. The coach honors that goal and helps the client keep it in mind as they drill down to specific action steps together. The coach holds an objective viewpoint (as objective as possible, this is often called “coach position”) to help the client see a bigger picture and rise above distractions. The coach holds the client accountable for his or her commitments.

In a coaching relationship (lasting anywhere from a few sessions to more long-term work), the coach is responsible for the following:

• Asking powerful questions that elicit the client’s inner resourcefulness
• Keeping the client focused on the big, overall goals
• Providing a safe, creative space where the client’s creativity can come forth
• Respecting and honoring clients’ views of the world—they are the experts in their lives
• Helping clients see the bigger, broader connections of their choices, changes, and growth
• Encouraging the client to dream
• Maintaining a clean “coach position” and not offering opinions, judgment, analysis, or advice
• Communicating clearly and directly
• Holding clients accountable as they request

A single coaching session is essentially a powerful conversation. Whether it is held over the phone or in person (or virtually), a coaching session creates a space and time in which the client can be focused on his or her goals, creativity can flow, and new options are explored. Thinking and beliefs can be examined, changed, and boosted. A coaching session can be a welcome “oasis” for a client, who may be so busy with day-to-day tasks and activities that an hour to focus on the future and desired goals helps him or her create true momentum for change and transformation.

In a coaching session, the coach might do any or all of the following:

• Step into coach position, and listen powerfully to questions asked
• Match the client’s energy, body language, vocal tone
• Check in to see how things went with the client’s action items from the previous session
• Ask what the goal for the session is and be sure it is clearly stated and measurable
• Inquire about how achieving that goal will help things change for the client, asking whether it is compatible with the overall goal and life values of the client (connecting to big picture).
• Invite the client to brainstorm on how he or she might go about making that change or reaching that goal
• Offer exercises, tools, and techniques that could help a client get “unstuck” or tap into deeper resources (it is the client’s choice whether to make use of these tools)
• Keep the client focused on him- or herself and on the future
• Help the client choose among potential action items to develop a plan to implement
• Ask how the client will remain committed to the action plan and how he or she wants the coach to follow up

A trained and experienced coach has many other tools to offer clients in a session or across a working relationship. The description here is very broad!

Tomorrow: The Education of a Coach

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In the course of my coaching training, reading, learning, and life experience, I’ve come across multiple ways to manage tasks and get more done. I don’t claim to use all of these techniques, but I do use quite a few of them. I thought I’d share them now and then on this blog. Today’s tip: maximizing your list(s) of tasks for success.

Lots of people make lists of tasks to get done. These can take many forms: online task trackers, lots of sticky notes, a notebook, scraps of paper, scribbles on calendars. If lists work for you and keep you organized, then by all means, keep using them! Consider some of the following techniques.

Mindset key: Lists (and calendars) are made so that you don’t have to remember everything. Write it down, and then the list does the remembering for you. This allows you to think more about how you want to accomplish the task (and other more forward-moving thoughts), rather than creating anxiety around trying to remember the daily nitty-gritty of what you are supposed to do.

1. Keep a daily short to-do list.

Research has shown that productive people who keep lists do it in a certain way. First, the daily list is relatively short: No more than 5-10 items that are the top priorities of the day (I personally try to keep mine to 5-6 items). This keeps the list manageable. Ever had that feeling of looking at your to-do list and thinking “I can’t do all of this, so I’m not going to do any of it!”? That can happen if your list is massively long. Keep your daily list short and doable. If anything does not get accomplished on that daily list, you can move it to the next day’s list.

• Slightly silly bonus tip: I love to start my list with something either super-simple or something I’ve already done, like “drink coffee” or “make list.” That way, I can cross it off right away. It seems silly (and folks often laugh when I tell them this!), but it gives me a sense of momentum and satisfaction! “There, one thing done, on to the rest!” (I happen to know I’m not the only one who does this.)

• Another bonus tip: Put a variety of “small” and “larger” items on the list. For instance you might have “Call doctor to schedule physical” and “Work on slide presentation” on the same list. One task will take a minute or two, the other might take an hour or more. Mix it up. If you have only one major task for the day (“clean the house”), consider breaking it down (dust living room, vacuum upstairs, dishes, laundry, tidy family room).

2. Make the to-do list the day before

The second key to maximizing your daily list is to make it at the end of the day before (or the end of the workday). A lot of people like to start their day with the list, but making it the day before you need it takes advantage of something very powerful: your subconscious brain. If you write the list, and then sleep on it, your subconscious works on the tasks for you while you sleep. Ever woken up in the morning and just knew the solution to a problem, or knew the correct decision in a difficult situation? It’s like that. You might be amazed at how much you can get done if you start making your list at the end of the day.

• Bonus tip: If you also keep a planner or calendar, consider combining your end-of-the-day list making time with a few minutes of calendar review. This will help you make reasonable lists for each day, because you’ll be aware of, say, how many appointments you might have coming up that take away from your productive time. You might also realized you have to buckle down for a few days because you have several days coming up that have little or no availability. Alternately, if you have loads of time for productive work, you might choose to schedule things that are important for future growth but don’t have a rigid, close deadline.

3. Keep master lists that are longer.

If you like to keep lists of “all the things” you have to do, that’s perfectly fine! Your daily list should be short and sweet, but you can refer to a master list—with categories and subcategories, if needed. Some people like to organize lists like “house items,” “business tasks,” “long-range planning,” and so on. However you like to have longer lists available, make use of them. Check with them now and then to see what you can cross off.

• Bonus tip: If you keep longer lists, then make sure some of them are keyed to your long-term goals and not just your immediate tasks. For instance, if you have a New Year’s resolution to learn more about personal finance and investing, your master list might include getting some books on personal finance, creating a budget, finding opportunities to save or earn more money, taking a class in investing, meeting with an investment advisor or financial planner, and so on. These may not be red-hot “do it NOW!” items, but they should appear on your lists at some point.

4. Digital or paper?

Some of us love the feel of paper and writing something down. Others are all digital, all the way. There are advantages to both, of course, so my advice is: if what you’re doing works, then stick with it! (I personally use both.) There are many ways to use paper lists–notebooks to sticky notes to special note paper designed just for lists! A benefit to paper lists is the sense of making it “real” as you write it down, and the satisfaction of crossing something off when you’ve done it. Digital options also abound: from Web-based, to software, to smartphone options, you can find something to suit your needs. A benefit to digital list making is that you can set alarms and deadlines to keep you on track and integrate them with your digital calendar, if you use one.

Mindset tip: Remember to celebrate what you get done! Too often we look at our lists and say “wow, I didn’t do X, Y, and Z” and forget what we did accomplish. Notice and celebrate what you do, and reward yourself if you like!

Resources

• David Allen has written two excellent bestseller books: Getting Things Done and Ready for Anything, about stress-free productivity.
• A good online to-do list with some fairly sophisticated features (free, or upgrade to paid account) is Toodledo (there’s an iPhone app for this as well).

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That’s what my coaching mentor used to say, and she was right. How often do you say, “I really should…” or “I gotta…” or “I just need to…” or “I really ought to…” Is this kind of self-talk really motivating? Sometimes (perhaps for a lucky few), but usually it’s not. We can “should” all day long, but that often makes us less likely to do what we say, and then we feel guilty about it, and even stuck. Think about it: “I really should lose weight, start running, call Sally back, plan that trip, save some more money…”

These kind of verbal habits don’t do us any favors. We can “should” all over ourselves and all we have to show for it is guilt and a growing long to-do list.

How can you truly motivate yourself with your self-talk?

The first step is awareness: stop and listen how you talk to yourself or state your intentions. Do you use a lot of shoulds, oughts, needs, or gottas? What is your gut reaction to these phrases? How do you feel?

Note: Sometimes need is the right word. It can go both ways, so a gut-check will tell you if it’s the proper motivational phrase for you.

Me, I’m a bit contrary. If someone tells me I really should do something (even if I know it’s a good idea), I’m liable to think (but usually not say) “Nuh UH!” or even “Oh yeah? Watch me do the opposite just to spite you!” I even feel this way a bit when I tell myself I ought to do something. My natural contrariness rears its head and despite all my good intentions I don’t move forward.

The second step is changing your language. This requires awareness (the first step) and then deliberate effort and thought to create more meaningful and motivational self-talk. For instance, instead of saying “I really ought to clean out my car” you could try one of the following statements and check how you feel in response:

• I deserve a clean car.
• I dare to clean out my car.
• I choose to clean out my car.
• I intend to clean out my car.
• I will clean out my car.
• (What other phrases motivate you?)

These statements are much stronger and in control. The put you in the driver’s seat, instead of placing you as the poor victim of your list of needs, shoulds, and oughts.

What language do you use to motivate yourself?

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I have been self-employed for nearly 14 years, running a variety of businesses over that time. One thing I have noticed is that work seems to come in waves. Sometimes I’ll have tsunami of projects, other times just a trickle. I know I’m not alone in this. It can often be feast or famine. So what can you do to build your business if you don’t actually have billable work in hand? Plenty, it turns out! Over the years, I’ve learned to look at “downtime” as a gift to take advantage of. Check out the following ideas.

5. Learn something. Downtime, even just a few hours, is a terrific time to break out those CDs or MP3s you picked up at a conference or online but haven’t listened to yet, find some books and online training, or read that pile of magazines. It’s important to stay current in your field. You’ll have the time–so open up your mind, and get ready to learn some fabulous new techniques and ideas! Load up your e-reader or your iPod, or go to the library. If you don’t have a pile of stuff waiting for you, go online to professional associations related to your business.

Bonus tip: When reading, have a notebook handy. If you get inspired by an idea, you can write it down, with reference to where you read it. Then you have a “hot list” of ideas and thoughts that you can refer to without flipping through a pile of material trying to find it again. This can be quite useful when you’re searching for blog, article, or speech topics (see tip 7). Alternatively, keep some sticky-note flags available so you can highlight key ideas in a book or magazine.

6. Update your online presence. You may well have a daily or weekly practice of time set aside to maintaining your Facebook Fan page (or personal page), LinkedIn, Twitter, any Ning networks you are a member of, and your website, among others. Downtime is a great opportunity to make major updates and changes. LinkedIn particularly is constantly adding new features; take a little time to create a company profile, update your personal profile, find some new groups to join, and ask and answer questions. Write those new pages for your website like you have been thinking about, update your profiles on other sites, add more content where you can.

Bonus tips: With a tool like HootSuite, you can write a bunch of status updates and tweets and schedule them to go out in the future, instead of all at once. If you use WordPress for your website, you can “draft” pages before publishing them, giving you time to work them through carefully and thoughtfully.

7. Get writing. Write some blog posts, newsletters, articles, speeches, even books. When you make your expertise available, you establish yourself as an authority in your subject and offer valuable content to potential customers and clients. Downtime is a great opportunity to let your creative juices flow. Many blogging platforms allow you to schedule the release of your blog posts in advance (one colleague of mine has a year’s worth of weekly posts already scheduled!). You can easily turn blog posts into articles and publish those on your site (or at a site like ezinearticles.com) or submit them to relevant publications. If you have a regular newsletter, you can start prepping future issues to save you time. Finally, you can turn blog posts and articles into speaking presentations (if you have the communication skills), which is a terrific way to build your business. If you have several blog posts, articles, or presentations on a related topic, you have the bulk of a book (or ebook) written.

Bonus tip: Many social media platforms will link to your blog so that when you publish a new post, it is automatically imported to that platform.

8. Renew connections and make new ones. Business downtime is a great time reestablish your professional connections and make new ones. Have lunch, coffee, or meet up with your colleagues and strategic partners. Go through that pile of business cards and connect online (with social media) and in person. Follow up with potential opportunities by calling, sending a hand-written card, or connecting in another way. Find some networking groups to visit and meet new folks.

Bonus tip: Whenever you receive a new business card from a connection, write a note on the back–where and when you met, any key conversation tips you had, when to follow up, or whatever you need to remember the person by more than just a card!

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1. First, and most important: Take time off. Especially during holidays, it’s time for you to visit with family and friends, too! Recharge your batteries, enjoy your life, and take some time for yourself. This is important for staving off burnout. Remind yourself that one of the points of your own business is working (and thus, not working) when you choose. A little R&R can be just the mental and physical refresher you need to come back with renewed energy and vigor. It’s not a crime to spend a day goofing off, especially if you have the time in your schedule.

2. Clean and organize. Did your work space get cluttered up? Receipts lying everywhere? Left the filing until you “had a moment?” Now is your chance! Clean and organize your office space and come back to work with a fresh slate! Purge your email inbox, clean up your hard drive, catch up on the filing. Hang that artwork, vacuum, dust, take out the trash and recycling, create a supportive space for your work.
Bonus tip: Have you been considering implementing a new system for filing, accounting, a database, contacts, or other business process, or perhaps creating forms that might support your business? Devoting time to setting these up carefully and thoughtfully is a great use of downtime.

3. Paperwork. Get caught up or even ahead of yourself. Need to update files? Transfer handwritten notes to disk? Catch up on Quickbooks or online banking? Update log files? It’s never too late to get caught up or get a jump-start on the year-end paperwork you might need.
Especially important: Start inputting everything you need to generate some current financial information. Getting your paperwork up to date now saves you tons of time and frustration when taxes are due.
Bonus tip: If you get an accurate picture of your business finances, you’ll immediately see where you can make more money, where you can cut expenses, and more opportunities for growth. Don’t wait until the end of the year for this!

4. Set some goals. If you have updated your paperwork (especially finances), you probably have a good picture of what the last year, quarter, or month in your business looked like. Now is a good time to set more yearly, quarterly, and monthly goals for you and your business. Stretch a little! Write the new goals down, so you can track how well you do. Don’t wait until the end of the calendar year to set goals–do it now!

Next up: Four more tips!

What do you do for your business when you have downtime?

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Key 5: Performance

It’s the big day! You have adjusted your mindset, planned, rehearsed, and employed some anti-anxiety techniques. You have been introduced to your audience. The moment is here: You stand up to give your presentation! Here are some keys to performance that can help you get your message across while appearing very professional.

• Dress comfortably, professionally, and appropriately. You don’t want to be wearing clothes or shoes that are too tight, too loose, or sloppy looking. Nothing itchy either! If you concentrate very hard on your content and delivery, you can lose track of what your body is doing–which means, it’s easy to distractedly scratch where it itches, adjust your clothes nervously (like constantly pushing up your sleeves or adjusting your bra strap), or allow any manner of nervous tics to shine through. This kind of thing betrays your nerves.
• It appears in the last post on anti-anxiety, and it bears repeating here: Take deep, slow breaths before speaking. Inhale through your nose, hold for a second or two, and exhale through your mouth. This will help you be mindful and present in your body, which can then cut down on unconscious fidgeting, swaying, and other giveaways of your nerves. Use a deep breath now and then in your presentation to create a pause and recenter yourself.
• Stand in neutral position, which is feet shoulder width apart, hands down at your sides comfortably. Nervous movement includes hand-wringing and swaying back and forth, and you can counteract this by intentionally being in neutral position. Your gestures and body language will be deliberate, and your movement will be purposeful from this position. Random, nervous moment detracts from your speech by distracting your listeners. Deliberate, thought-out movement enhances your message and drives it home.
• Don’t get trapped behind a podium if you have one. A podium can hide a bunch of nervousness, but it’s very easy to put your notes down, grip the sides of the podium, and not move an inch! This doesn’t make for a dynamic speech. Instead, put your notes (if you’re using them) on the podium, and then break out from behind it to move deliberately across your speech area. You can connect with the audience much better when you can move to them. Be careful that you don’t block any visual aids you might have (slides, flip charts, white board, etc.) as you move around.
• If you have a very large room, and there is a microphone on the podium, you may be stuck there so you can be heard (first, ask if a lapel mic is available). If you must stay behind a podium, make your gestures large, so they can be seen. Add a lot of enthusiasm in your voice and face, so it can “read” to the whole room. And be sure to make lots of eye contact from the podium (remember to look up and connect with your audience).

Next: More performance techniques!

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After you have worked on your mindset and more or less completed your planning, it’s time to rehearse (the third key to better presentations). Rehearsal and practice are critical for being comfortable when giving a presentation of any kind. If you are well versed in your material, you’ll be much more confident and less likely to get flustered. Practice as much as you feel you need to. Here are some tips:

• Practice your presentation by speaking at full volume (not whispering to yourself or “thinking” through it). I used to rehearse by whispering because I felt foolish talking to an empty room, but I found I was almost afraid to speak up as loudly as was necessary during the actual event!
• Practice while standing up and moving around, as you would be during the actual presentation.
• Practice the speech in sections (just the intro, just the conclusion) if you have limited time. Try to get at least two or three run-throughs of the entire thing.
• Practice with a test audience, if possible. Anyone listening in can tell you if you are speaking too fast or too slowly or if your material is confusing.
• Practice with visual aids until you can use them easily and appropriately.
• Watch your pacing and time limits. Use a timer! This is very important–if you find your prepared material is running far too long, you have some cuts to make. On the flip side, if it’s running way too short, you have more work to do.
• If you have scripted your speech, commit it to memory or reduce reliance on notes. Practice only glancing at your notes from time to time; you don’t want to just read from them when you give your presentation.
• If at all possible, practice in the actual space you will give the presentation (or at least get a look at it, if it’s not familiar to you). Moving to use all the space available to you is a good way to engage your audience.
• Practice your body language–you probably need to exaggerate your gestures to get your point across, especially if the audience is large. Many people only make gestures from the elbows down, which makes it look as if your arms are pinned to your side. Use your whole arm!
• If you feel comfortable doing so, videotape yourself so you can clearly observe your pacing, volume, gestures, enthusiasm, and use of space.

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