Archer Coaching

Coaching you on your path to joyful abundance.

Posts Tagged blessing

Balanced by Relationships

May 24

Posted by Laura in Appreciation, Uncategorized, balance, blessing, choice, difference, joy, love, openness, relationship | No Comments

I have blogged about life balance before, and I give presentations on that topic as well. I also spend time thinking about how my relationships with various people provide a supportive balance to me as a person.

Most of my friends have heard me wax poetic about how my darling husband is very different from me — in a way that I appreciate, because I feel it makes us a good team. He’s very relaxed and laid-back and thinks in terms of the big picture. I’m assertive, a go-getter, and detail-oriented. He lives in the moment, I tend to pace toward the future. He tends to think things through very carefully, sometimes taking a long time to make a decision. I tend to be rather impulsive and impatient! We have been together 15 years now, and I have come to love these differences. Just by being himself, he helps me relax and enjoy things as they are. We have many things in common, but the differences keep it interesting. I started to respect, honor, and cherish our differences when I went through coach training and began to perceive things differently.

My sister is another case in point. We are only 14 months apart in age, and we couldn’t be more different. We inverted most of the standard older child/younger child dynamics (she’s younger, but was much bolder than I was). We have dealt with common issues in our family, of course, but beyond that we are extremely different. We fought like cats and dogs growing up, of course, and we could never live in the same house again without maiming each other (if the last time we tried that is any indication). Over the years, I have come to truly value our differences, as she gives me a totally unique perspective on things. If we had met as strangers, I don’t know if we would have become friends — the differences would have made it seem as if we had nothing in common. As sisters, our relationship is all over the place, in a good way! We are starting to discover the things that we do have in common now.

My book group, of which I have been a member for 15 years, is another great example. We have a wide range of women in the group — some are mothers, some are grandmothers, some have never had kids. We have marrieds, divorceds, and never marrieds. Some young, some older, some in between. A variety of hobbies and careers are represented. The discussion is always lively. Heated disagreements, loud laughter, and a lot of thinking and interpreting. It’s a monthly discussion that really challenges and stimulates me because of all the differences in perception.

Enough about me! What relationships balance you? Whom do you love because of (not in spite of) your differences?

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The Gentle Art of Receiving

Apr 18

Posted by Laura in Appreciation, Mindfulness, Uncategorized, blessing, clarity, joy, openness, receiving | No Comments

I’m a giver and a go-getter, and I bet most of you are, too. I work hard for what I want, and I give a lot to others. I sometimes struggle with receiving, and I know I’m not the only one.

When I took the Millionaire Mind Intensive seminar a few years ago, I noted that the trainer made sure that we all practiced receiving. Some of our affirmations included being a good giver and an excellent receiver, as well asking the universe to send us the share of someone who wasn’t ready to receive.

Being ready to receive is more than just finally getting something you want and celebrating that fact. It’s about being gracious and grateful. It’s about being humble and accepting a gift (in any form) without the need to pay it back (or forward) or give something in exchange. It’s about being grateful for even the smallest moment of abundance in your life. This is tricky! It can feel downright uncomfortable.

I began to experience a mindful approach to receiving shortly before my wedding in fall 2000. I realized that on that special day, I would be the center of attention and the recipient of a lot of good wishes and celebration. Thankfully, I relied on my Southern heritage and manners: I practiced graciously accepting compliments and good wishes at my bridal shower, and then I put those skills to good use on the big day! I found it a little uncomfortable to simply receive compliments (and gifts!), and it was a very interesting experience to do so.

How many times in our lives do we deflect a genuine compliment by down-playing ourselves or turning the focus to the other person, rather than simply saying, “Thank you!” and enjoying the feeling? How often do you feel ever so slightly guilty accepting a gift or favor? Do you perhaps keep a mental tally of who owes who a favor or special treat?

Every day you have the opportunity to receive. Take advantage of this opportunity with mindfulness and intentionality. Practice receiving with gratitude, and start to notice the abundance that comes to you. When you begin gratefully receiving, the universe will start to send more your way! As you notice what you have been graced with, you will see more of it. As you receive, you might find yourself giving more selflessly, as well as going after what you want more intentionally because you are ready to receive it and are no longer afraid to ask for it!

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Snowbound

Feb 1

Posted by Laura in Appreciation, Creativity, Mindfulness, Uncategorized, blessing, nature, weather | No Comments

As of today, I have been snowbound for three days. We got a rare heavy snowstorm starting Friday night, and about 6-8 inches of accumulation. It’s absolutely beautiful! Luckily, the power has stayed on, so we have “weathered” (hyuk hyuk) the storm in great comfort. We had plenty of groceries, and even got a new snow shovel before it arrived.

I have reveled in this break from the busy-ness of everyday life. My calendar was mostly cleared of appointments–the two remaining ones have been rescheduled. I had lots of work to do here at home, plus some cleaning projects, a full TiVo, and a stack of books to read. I haven’t been bored at all, nor have I had cabin fever (I credit that to many, many snow days with no TV when I was growing up). I welcome the opportunity to slow down for a few days. It’s a rare luxury.

Think of Henry David Thoreau, who isolated himself from mainstream society for over two years at Walden Pond. (He still received visitors and made visits himself; he didn’t live as a hermit.) His time there inspired his classic masterpiece, Walden, which covers his thoughts on self-reliance and simple living.

When we’re given a chance to slow down a bit, what can we do? What creativity comes forth? What do you notice about your regular life when you’re offered a respite from it?

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