Archer Coaching

Coaching you on your path to joyful abundance.

Posts Tagged joy

A Lesson on Enjoying the Moment

Oct 3

Posted by Laura in Appreciation, blessing, clarity, Dreaming, joy, planning, time | No Comments

When I was seven, my parents announced we were all going to Disney World in about two months’ time. I immediately pulled out a bag and began to pack.

I’m a planner! I’ve always been fairly good at tracking steadily toward a future goal or event. I rather like handling details one at a time until something is completed. It’s satisfying! I have online and paper calendars, lists, and reminders for all my tasks; all my friends know I am extremely prompt and often early when meeting them.

Ten years ago, I married my husband, a wonderful man who is very much the opposite when it comes to time. He lives in the moment. He doesn’t use a planner (except for work), rarely makes a list (unless for groceries), frequently runs a few minutes late, and doesn’t wear a watch. For a while, I thought this would be a real problem between us, but it turns out to be great. We make a great team, and he’s an excellent reminder for me to slow down and enjoy.

I recently had an absolutely wonderful reminder of how to enjoy a moment and treasure it. I am 18 weeks pregnant with our first child (a daughter), something I have longed for and tried to make happen for several years now. A few weeks ago I decided to hit one of the massive local consignment sales for kid and baby stuff. Pregnant moms get in a day early to get best pick! I had a short list of things I was willing to buy, if I found them in good condition and at a good price.

I showed up, got my wrist band, and started browsing. I was very quickly overwhelmed with the amount of stuff that was there. I did see pretty much everything on my list, but I was reluctant to grab it and buy it. I took a break and sat on a bench to think. That’s when I realized: I’m not ready for this phase yet.

I have so enjoyed just being pregnant and enjoying my dreams for what the future will be like! I’ve had a fairly easy time of it so far (no sickness at all), and aside from cleaning out the house to make room for the child, I haven’t had to do any prep work yet (I haven’t registered yet). I realized at that moment on the bench that I wasn’t ready to let go of that phase. I’m nearly halfway through–we just found out the baby’s sex and I’m starting to feel her move around in there. The rest of this pregnancy will go so fast, and we’ll have to make lists of what we need, shop, plan, work… and there is still time for that. There’s no need for me to rush into it yet.

So I went home without buying anything, with a big smile on my face. I can’t think of when I’ve been happier.

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Self-Kindness

Jun 14

Posted by Laura in blessing, choice, clarity, failure, joy, Mindfulness, momentum, Powerful questions | No Comments

“You idiot!” Have you ever said this to yourself after doing something foolish (or, in my case, after a klutz attack)? How often do you beat yourself up over inconsequential things, past failures, or some perceived lack?

It seems a lot of people are harder on themselves than they would be to anyone around them. It’s apparently second nature to be harsh to ourselves, whereas we would not say something that unforgiving to a friend or loved one. How come we have such difficulty being kind to ourselves? Why are we so unforgiving when we make a mistake?

Lately, I’ve been making a conscious, deliberate effort to be kind to myself. My key question when I’m being self-negative: “Would I tolerate a friend talking to me the way I’m talking to me?” (If the answer is “no,” that’s my indicator that I am being overly rigid and unkind.) I’ve been working on releasing certain feelings that don’t serve me: irritation at my body for aches and pains, frustration and worry about not being able to control certain aspects of my future, and anger and pain over some recent losses. I acknowledge the emotions as being a natural response, but instead of letting them put me in a cave of resentment, I release them so that I can step up to something more empowering.

Suddenly, I have a lot of energy to move forward! Worry, anger, and frustration, when turned inward, consume a lot of thought and energy, without necessarily leading to action (going into that cave of resentment or into a shame spiral). Stepping out of that vicious circle releases an enormous amount of power to propel one forward. I see a lot more possibilities, opportunities, and joy when I move in this new direction.

What might change in your life if you started being kinder to yourself?

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