Archer Coaching

Coaching you on your path to joyful abundance.

Posts Tagged life balance

Unbalanced

Apr 2

Posted by Laura in balance, blessing, change, clarity, Coaching, confidence, experience, joy, openness, Path | 5 Comments

As I write this, my four-week-old daughter is asleep, snug in her Baby Bjorn carrier, nestled against my chest. She is my first child, so I’m entering the world of parenthood like every other woman does: all at once, with a lot of panic and thoughts of “What the @#$!@#$ was I thinking?!” I tried not to make any set plans and to let go of my expectations before her birth, but I’m still a bit flummoxed by how much my life is changing.

 

In my coaching practice, one of the areas I frequently focus on with clients is life balance. It seems a tad ironic (or perhaps karmic) that my own life is so completely out of balance right now. But a wise colleague told me a story about Steven Covey. Apparently, Covey’s daughter called him in a panic after her child was born, and he told her that sometimes you are supposed to be utterly out of balance. Clearly, the trial-by-fire that is new parenthood is one of those times.

 

How do we cope with those massively out-of-balance times?

 

At the moment, I try to remember that I do not need to overcome this, I need to become something new (we are never overcoming, we are always becoming). I will not get back to the “way things used to be.” A change this large creates a new state of being. Adding the role of mother is an enormous shift in my identity, tasks, and self-image. That can’t be done overnight, obviously. I will co-create this role with my daughter–she will teach me how to be a mom to her. It also helps to remember that life balance is not a fixed state that one attains and then holds steady. I gave up some things (some permanently, some temporarily) to be a mom, and that certainly shifted the balance in my life. Most important, I am reminding myself to cherish these moments of my daughter’s new life–as crazy as it makes my own life–because they will go by incredibly quickly.

 

What things have made you out of balance? How did you grow from those experiences? How have they shaped what you are today?



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How Do People Use Coaching?

Feb 9

Posted by Laura in balance, business, change, choice, clarity, Coaching, Coaching Week, definition, Goals, Path, performance, planning, public speaking, relationship, success, time management, Uncategorized | 1 Comment

In honor of International Coaching Week, February 6 through 12, I am posting a series of short articles about coaching.

Day 4: How Do People Use Coaching?

People can seek coaching for support in nearly every aspect of their lives. A general “life coach” or “business coach” may help a client focus on many or all aspects life or business. In a sports metaphor, a head coach, someone who oversees all aspects of the game and team, is like a life coach.

Many coaches have a specialty, or niche, and focus on helping certain kinds of people (e.g., executives, entrepreneurs, speakers, direct sellers) or address certain aspects of life (e.g., relationships, life balance, communication). A specialist coach still connects to the whole client and doesn’t work totally in isolation on one particular area. In a sports metaphor again, a specialist coach might be someone who works with basketball players only on their free throws, or a putting coach for golfers.

Clients may come to coaches with the desire to create change in one or more of the following focus areas (and many others!):

  • Career advancement
  • Career change and job seeking
  • Life balance
  • Management and executive skills
  • Starting or growing a business (including marketing)
  • Time management/productivity
  • ADD support
  • Improve communication (including presentation and professional speaking)
  • Organization
  • Relationships (including parenting)
  • Self-esteem and self-confidence
  • Handling a specific issue
  • Problem solving
  • Financial planning
  • Spiritual growth
  • Health and wellness

I’ve you’re consider hiring a coach, but are not sure what to use a coach for, ask yourself these questions: What one aspect of my life could benefit from some coaching? What one area of my life, if I improved it, would improve all the other areas?

A lot of people think that coaching only comes into play for big-picture life or career issues. Did you know that coaching can also be supportive of a single particular project or a short-term goal?

Just about anything you can imagine that has a timeline for completion can benefit from some coaching attention!

  • Writing a book
  • Creating a business plan
  • Developing a workshop or speech
  • Training plan for a triathlon
  • Losing a set amount of weight
  • Starting a club or community group
  • Planning a wedding or other large event
  • Completing college or graduate school
  • Job search
  • Work projects, such as creation of an action team or development of a program
  • Earning tenure at a university
  • Increasing sales in a single quarter
  • Marketing planning and implementation

Imagine what might be possible if you had focused support and energy around a single project. What could you achieve?

Tomorrow: Are You Coachable?

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Life Balance: Telecourse

Dec 9

Posted by Laura in balance, change, clarity, joy, momentum, Powerful questions, time | No Comments

I’m teaching a telecourse for Fem Central in January 2011: “The Overwhelmed Woman: Reaching for Life Balance.” This class discusses basic principles and definitions of life balance, offers tools for achieving balance, and teaches some time/task management skills. Audience will come away with some tools for evaluating life balance, as well as a vision of what that might look like in their lives. Gain insight into your relationship with time, structure your life for the truly important things, and work for balance!

Cost: Only $23! Register here (and check out Fem Central’s other excellent courses). Register today to reserve your space!

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Creating Balance

Mar 27

Posted by Laura in balance, blessing, choice, clarity, Coaching, definition, joy, Mindfulness, Powerful questions, time | No Comments

(Originally published at FemCentral, which is a terrific site you should bookmark and return to often!)

Life balance has become a sort of holy grail in modern times. It’s hard to recognize it when we experience it, but we all know when we’re out of balance. Feeling overwhelmed, extra-stressed, drained, demoralized, and burned out are just some of the feelings that indicate a dramatic unbalance. So what is life balance, and how can we get some?

To start with, life balance is not time management. Life balance is not about fitting everything in, or saying “yes” to everything, or even allotting equal time to different parts of your life (work/family being an obvious example). It’s about knowing when to say “yes” and when to say “no.” This includes taking stock of the things that are important to you and making sure they are priorities in your life. Time and task management do not equal life balance, but they can be tools for helping you maintain it.

Whenever an opportunity comes up–a request to do something, volunteer opportunities, classes, work opportunities, anything at all–you have a choice of saying “yes” or “no.” Many people want to please or help others, like the feeling of being asked, want to feel accomplished or rewarded, or sometimes just feel obligated, so they almost automatically say “yes” to everything. It can be wonderful to experience growth and accomplishment from your commitments. But if you say “yes” to everything, you will very quickly find yourself overwhelmed, which can push you into crisis mode.

Some mindfulness and some intentionality when making commitments or accepting responsibilities offers a lot of clarity. Ask yourself the following questions when any kind of opportunity comes your way:

1. If I say “yes” to this, what else am I saying “yes” to? What am I saying “no” to?
2. If I say “no” to this, what am I saying “yes” to? What else am I saying “no” to?

It can be difficult to remember these yes/no options as things come up, so try asking yourself these questions about something that is already on your plate. You may find that there are more benefits than you thought to something you’ve agreed to; conversely, there may be higher costs associated with a task or responsibility. Don’t be afraid to let go of a responsibility or commitment that is no longer serving you.

I have found that when asking myself these yes/no questions before making a commitment, my values really start to show up. The things that are truly important to me make themselves known, and I can make a much more informed decision. It’s far more profound than just listing pros and cons. If I can see clearly what saying “yes” or “no” does for me on a personal level, then I can either accept joyfully or turn away from it with a sense of peace and wholeness.

Another key concept in life balance is prioritizing the things that are important to you. Steven Covey talks about this in his book First Things First: you don’t just prioritize the schedule, you schedule the priorities. Think about your life and the things that are important to you. If you want to be sure to be there in your roles as wife, mother, friend, healthy person, and spiritual seeker (to name a few of the many roles available to us), then you need to make sure your calendar reflects those commitments. If you believe that family is the most important thing, but your schedule is filled with extra work assignments, lots of networking, and business travel, you will feel the stress and disconnect of not sharing yourself with your family. A calendar review (weekly, monthly, however frequently you like) with your various roles and values in mind can really serve you in creating space in your life for all the things that are important. You can raise your awareness about your wants and needs and make sure that you have committed time to experience them in your life.

As you move forward with these techniques and some mindful intentionality in applying them in your life, you will experience several shifts. Shifts in your thinking will lead to new feelings, which create new actions and new results. You may find that your relationships grow and deepen when you make them a priority. You might stop feeling guilty when you say “no.” And you may end up with far more meaningful opportunities coming your way because you can wisely discern the ones that are right for you.

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